AboutShea Expertise Hi. It is my desire to help rape survivors find answers to those longing questions that haunt every victim of rape. Why did this happen to me? How can I survive this experience? Who really cares? Being a victim of rape often leaves one feeling alone, angry and full of fear. Please know that there are people that care. I care. My heart goes out to anyone that is having to deal with the shame and fear that is part of rape. Just remember, you are not alone. I am here to answer questions, seek solutions, or just be a listening ear. I am here to offer friendship and hope in the midst of a very lonely place.
Experience I am a survivor. I was sexually abused as a child and also as an adult. I was sexually abused by both men and women, which left me very confused. I went into counseling 6 years ago with no hope. I was confused about my sexual orientation, struggled with sexual addictions, and self mutilation. Six years later I consider myself a conqueror. I am now happily married and have found hope. My husband and I have a ministry that deals with sexual abuse, same-sex attraction, and sexual addiction. We currently offer one on one counseling and group therapy for these issues. We are also in search of a Safe House for our ministry. This Safe House would be place where individuals seeking freedom from these situations could go and receive safety and counseling.
Organizations www.shadowofhiswingsministry.com
Education/Credentials I am currently in school to finish up my degree in psychology. I work along side my husband who is an LPC Supervisor. Together we provide counseling and group therapy. I am currently deciding which direction to go with my education. Life experience has been my greatest education and I believe anyone can take these experiences and learn more than any college or university can teach.
Question Hi, l was raped four years ago and as as result a child was born. Initially l told no one until the baby was born. My mental health suffered and as a result my mental health team referred me for therapy. The therapy has made things worse, the flashbacks and self harm are now back to daily events and l feel that l am being raped over and over again. My CPN just says that she doesn't know how to help me but at the moment all l want to do is die. Please help me is it normal to feel like this or is the therapy making things worse. I can't take this please help.
Answer Dear Mandy,
I am sorry for your rape. Are you receiving counseling from a rape crisis center or somewhere that specializes in rape counseling? Do you feel comfortable, or like your counselor that you have? I am just wondering in order to figure out whether you are with the best counselor possible for this situation?
I am sorry that it is so difficult in working through this. In answer to your question...yes, it is normal for you to feel like that. I too had alot of flashbacks and self harm. I would cut and burn on myself because the pain was immense. Going through therapy was the hardest thing ever imaginable, but yet it was the most freeing thing that I have ever done. There were many times when I was hospitalized because of my self-harm. So, I definitely know where you are coming from. Please don't let your perpetrator win by giving up! You deserve life...and not only do you deserve life, but, you deserve a GREAT life!! I know that it doesn't feel like that right now. Trust me...I really do know that. But, over time, if you keep sharing your feelings and working through your anger and hurt, it will get better eventually. At some point, the tears will flow less frequently. And when they do flow, they will flow for others, as well as yourself. What I mean is, at some point you will want to help others that are going through the same pain. But...for now keep trusting counseling. Even when you don't trust yourself, find someone that you can trust. If you don't have a counselor that you feel that trust with...keep seeking another counselor. If you need help with finding one, let me know. I would be glad to help you find one. Keep Talking!!!!
Thank you so much for sharing your pain with me. Keep writing and keep talking!!!
In Him,
Shea
