AboutKim Expertise I am a survivor. I know what it’s like to be the victim. I am now a Sexual Assault Victim’s Care Advocate. I have been certified as such since November 2000. I am currently a student who is specializing in trauma and abuse and the associated disorders and illnesses.
Experience I am a survivor. So, I not only have book smarts but, personal experience with what rape is and how much it affects the victim and his or her loved ones.
Expert: Kim Date: 6/20/2008 Subject: this probably sounds really stupid ........
Question hi,
i dont really know why excactly i am writing this. i should probably start by saying i wasnt raped. well i should probably just tell you what happened. i work in a shop and every morning i normally get to work about half an hour early so i just sit these concrete ball things outside and wait for the others to turn up well this guy that works in a shop round the corner normally walks past a few times every morning and he smiles and says hi completely harmless or so i thought well on 8th may 08 i was sitting on the ball thing when he came over and said hi as he normally does then i for some reason decided to go and sit on a bench this bench is in a corner and is quite secluded but he came and sat next to me i instantly felt uncomfortable i dont know why but i just felt really on edge he slowly moved closer to me but i didnt move away i dontt know why you would think that if i felt uncomfortable i would have moved away from him then he started talking to me he asked me my name so answered and told him my name was jade he asked if i was single i felt uncomfortable answering this so i didnt answer then he told me his name was marco and he was 23 he asked how old i was so i said 16 all he said was oh just legal how good (i live in england) so i ignored this the next thing i know he puts his hand down my top and into my bra i finally moved away i reported it to the police and have see this guy everyday he hasnt been arrested and doesnt even know i have reported him he normally smiles when he wals past sometimes he tries to talk to me but i walk away but rcently i am 100% sure he is following and i am starting to get really scared i havent heard from the police since my interview and i havent been able to get hold of the officer who is dealing with my case my parents know about the assualt and know i have seen him around but i havent told them about him following me etc i know this is a big thing i know i havent been raped or anything like that but i feel so angry confused hurt on edge all time i am scared to go work but i have to i cant cope i would have been able to move on and just get over it but the police have done nothing and i feel alone i feel like i am the one in the wrong and i dont know what to anymore
thanks
jade
Answer Jade,
No you were not technically raped, which means that he forcibly had sexual intercourse with you and penetrated you, but, you were raped emotionally and violated so you do not need to downsize the trauma here, are you getting help? you were sexually assaulted and I know that it was and it is very traumatic for you. Did the police when you reported the crime offer you counseling? You also can be getting legal help through a sexual assault agency whom may even be able to help you get a Order of Protection or Restraining Order (although I do not know the laws in England) that will protect you and make it so that he can’t be within X amount of miles from you and following you could get him in trouble with the law for stalking type behaviors and again this would depend on your local laws. So… because you’re in England, let me offer you a website that can help you locate specialized help in your area.
