AboutDr.Sunu Sundar Expertise I can answer questions from rape victims who are desperate to find a source for inner healing. All my answers will focus on soothing the victims of rape ultimately leading to inner healing.
Experience I have been in counselling for last seven years adults,teenagers and children who are abused and raped in various situations.
Education/Credentials I have a master degree in Psychology and another in Sociology
Expert: Dr.Sunu Sundar Date: 7/11/2008 Subject: Possible to Heal others?
Question Hello,
My girlfriend was raped by an acquaintance at the age of 13. She is now 20.
-She did not tell her parents that she was raped. She attempted suicide and was diagnosed with BPD.
- She eventually did tell her mom and they went to the boys house, but of course the boy's mother didn't believe her and the police had no evidence so that was that..
-She later started to self injure herself / party a lot. She was in and out of hospitals and given many anti-depressants throughout her teen years. She actually graduated with this guy, meaning she went to the same school as him for years after.
-She then became pregnant at 18 and basically all problems diminished. In her words " my wild days are over." She takes no meds and she is pretty much in balance.
- We talk some about it, and she has told me that she "just doesn't think about it".. basically suppresses the memory within her mind.
- My concern is this. I really care for this woman and we have a open meaningful relationship. So.. Do I continue to try to get her to talk about it? What is my job to help her right now? Do I bring up counseling or will that just bring up old thoughts .. and old emotions / feeling she has laid to rest. Is there anything I need to do. I hope to marry this girl someday. I want to help her .. erase the demons..
We all have experienced the need to heal or help a loved one.. I know that this is not always possible. So I continue to treat her well and I am constantly reminding her how "Special" "Unique" "Deserving" she is and how lucky I am to have her in my life. I am also striving to differentiate myself from the average man, example we are no on a no sex policy right now so we can really get to know each other.
Thank you if you actually read through all of this! haha
Answer Dear Zack,
I did read your mail carefully.
I suggest that let her be always be in a situation where she can constantly receive love. Continue to show her optimum love. Never try to hint anything about the past. That will do for the time being.
