AboutKim Expertise I am a survivor. I know what it’s like to be the victim. I am now a Sexual Assault Victim’s Care Advocate. I have been certified as such since November 2000. I am currently a student who is specializing in trauma and abuse and the associated disorders and illnesses.
Experience I am a survivor. So, I not only have book smarts but, personal experience with what rape is and how much it affects the victim and his or her loved ones.
Question I am confused lost, and do not know where to turn. I was r**** last year on a
date, he laughed, and told me it was supposed to hurt, as i tried to get him to
stop. I was also touched inappropriately and r**** as a child. I want help, but
I do not think I am strong enough to talk about it, I am scared of
relationships., even though there is a very sweet guy trying to talk to me. I
get scared of even hugging him. how do i make it all go away?
Answer Shay,
Because of your past, I strongly encourage you to get counseling so that you and your therapist can start the process of healing. It sounds like you will also need sexual healing. Meaning you will need to learn how to be and feel safe with someone else, but in order to do this you must first be and feel safe with yourself, and my feeling is that at this point you don’t? So in therapy you will learn how to feel safe with yourself first this way you can work on others and being in relationships with others.
So I will encourage counseling with someone that specializes in sexual assault and trauma that can also work on sexual healing. RAINN (Rape Abuse and Incest National Network) www.rainn.org go to Get Help, and then Find a Local Counseling Center. Put in your zip code and they will generate a list of help in your area, and if they don’t offer counsel they can refer you to someone that can.
