Expert: Dr.Sunu Sundar - 10/30/2009

Question
Hi,
I am 46 years old and when I was around 6 years old my two brothers 12 and 9 molested me for 6years until I was around 12.  They also brought my cousins in on one occasion, stripped my clothes from me and told them to do to me what they willed.  I was blessed that day as my cousins saw how upset I was and left telling my oldest brother that it was wrong.  All of this was allowed to go on as I had a younger sister that was in the hospital a lot as she was born with diabetes and back then it was a very serious condition.  I have gone through life trying to put this behind me and trying to get along with them for the sake of my family.  They have always been arrogant and treated by my father as more important.  Recently, my father was diagnosed with a terminal disease and my Mother has been sick for years so I have taken care of her.  As a nurse, I have actually taken care of both of them for the last 20 years while my brothers sat back living next to them and hardly lifting a finger.  Right before my father was diagnosed I confronted my brothers with what they had done in a letter and told both of my parents as I was having nightmares again.  My father says he asked my brothers and of course they denied it and he believes them.  My father was a very hard man as for as discipline and I was beaten on several occasions for no other reason other than that my brothers would lie and tell him I did something that they had done, so they wouldn't have to take the punishment.  I am a Christian person and have been having a really hard time dealing with this lately especially when my Father seems to believe everything they say.  The worst part is that my father has taken a restraining order on me not to come out to the property anymore per my brothers request. This has increased my anxiety and nightmares as I was devastated that he would do this to his own daughter.  They are in the process of trying to have guardianship changed over to my brothers and I feel this is a ploy or deterrent to keep me from my Mother so they can work on her to help their efforts to get guardianship.  They know the doctors all have written me letters stating that it was I that took care of both of them the last 20 years.  The doctors didn't even realize there were brothers until they started requesting medical records on my Mother. My Father has had guardianship over my Mother since 1980 due to her mental status.  She is too afraid to fight back.  This is killing my Mother and me!  We have always been joined at the hip and we both can not believe my Father has actually done what they want but he is 80 years old and has always done anything they tell him but due to his mental status he is more vulnerable.  I can't afford to hire an attorney and my mother calls crying telling me that they threaten not to give her her medications if she helps me get guardianship of her and other things, but when I sent department of family services out to speak with her she lied and said everything was fine.  I want to be able to talk with her without crying but I am so frustrated with so many things.  My main frustrating is the nightmares that have started again.  I awake crying and or with such anger.  Do you have any suggestions of how I can release some of this?  I fear my brothers will never admit to this or worse they will not ask for forgiveness before their time comes.  I have made an appointment with our mental health system.  My Mother has been going to them all these years and she has never gotten any better so I am not looking for a great outcome.  I would really appreciate your advise and thank you for listening.

Answer
Dear Susan,

Greetings.


I  read  your  long  letter  and  could  sense in me the pain you have been suffering in mind.I am very happy to  read  that you  acknowledge that you  are  a believer  in True One God.
As I read your letter the words of Jesus, "Your foes are  of your own house hold" flashed in my  heart.

Just  start  praying for your  father and your brothers   who hurt you.Ask God regularly to give you the grace to  forgive your brothers. Stop  worrying about the guardianship and the property  or any human reward.Susan "Cast all your care up on Him, for He cares  for you"-1-Peter 5-7

Tell God every day, "God  please impart stronger sense of detachment  in my heart and help me to  rejoice in your presence always ignoring  the world and its rewards"

Expect  nothing from any humans and expect  everything from God your  only loving Father.

Spent  ample time in prayer, praise and worship, personal prayers, fasting prayers irrespective of any  situation and hurdles.Every day personal prayer  for an hour is  indispensable.

Jesus said, "I will  never cast away anyone  who comes to me"-John-6-37. Go to Him and  cling  on to Him in all situations  and  you will see the  hand of God  leading you to a happy life that the people of the world  never  can comprehend.

I am willing to help you further.

You may  also contact  me  at outreach.matters@gmail.com

Have  a nice day

With prayers,
Dr.Sunu