AboutDr.Sunu Sundar Expertise I can answer questions from rape victims who are desperate to find a source for inner healing. All my answers will focus on soothing the victims of rape ultimately leading to inner healing.
Experience I have been in counselling for last seven years. I have been counseling adults,teenagers and children who are abused and raped in various situations.
Education/Credentials I have a master degree in Psychology and another in Sociology
Question Hello ,
I will start with that we have been together for 4 yrs now and our age difference is 18 yrs for good or bad . We do have strong feelings for each other and plan to get married.The problem we have since the very beginning of our relationship was my age and the father of my girlfriend being strongly against it .He has done numerous things to separate us and he suicided couple times but we have managed to get back together. Because of this situation we became tense, constantly fighting and arguing over anything mostly because she supported her father despite the fact he has beaten her twice in my absence calling her a whore and shame for his family. She is down most of the time unhappy and this reflects on me as well on our relationship. I have started to suspect some form of sexual abuse or God knows what but something was not right. From her i did know that her father has been abusive many times towards her mom and brother beating them but other than that he is a hard working person.I confronted her about she being sexually abused by her father and she told me that from the age of 13 to 18 almost on a weekly basis or whenever he had a chance he will make her go to his room and have her undress with the words " let's see if my precious girl is still innocent" Then he will open her vagina to check if she is still a virgin. Here is my question!
That is the story she told me and was shocked at the beginning did not say anything . Time passed and her attachment to her father continue to be strong despite the problems he was causing to this day. I am under constant pressure we moved in to live at my parents house he showed up to try to have her go out with him apparently in his mind was to get her in the car and take her home . I was not home at that time but i have called and warned home that i will file a restraining order if this happens once again. So my question is ?
Does the story she shared with me sound truthful and was not raped and molested for years by her father, but she likes that to remain their family secret. Or it is possible that he was just so concerned about his daughter not sleeping around at a young age.I asked her if she ever shared that with her mom, because i thought booth parents should be concerned about if their daughter is sleeping around and if they really need her checked is more likely the mother to do that or a medical doctor not the father hiding from everyone.
i have tried to talk to her about it couple of times since she shared the facts but she becomes verbally abusive yelling at me that's not my business and nothing more happened and threatening me that she will leave me if i don't stop asking.So i did. But we do remain unhappy to this day although we are talking about a kid and a family.
Thank you for the patience to read my story, and hopefully to give me an advise."
Answer Dear Aliosha,
No doubt, as per the information shared with you, the girl in picture has been sexually abused by her dad
She is perhaps afraid to accept the abuse because she will not be able to take up the pain once she accepts it.
She needs to go to a counselor.
You need not talk about marriage or having kids at this time because this is very early at this stage.
Pray to God
