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You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Mental Health > Rape Counseling > i dont know if this was rape
Rape Counseling - i dont know if this was rape
Expert: Dr.Sunu Sundar - 11/12/2009
Question
i've been seeing this guy and we've had sex a few times before. he came over last night, and we got high and went in my room to watch a movie. i had no intentions of having sex because i'm dating three guys right now and everyone of them expect it. i was feeling like a vending machine and just wanted a quiet night. when we got in my room he got on top of me and started sucking on my neck really hard and got rough, acting more wild and horny than i had ever seen him before. his level of intensity scared me and i didnt reciprocate at all. he ripped off my pants and started to finger me. i didnt tell him to stop but i kept trying to pull away. then he went down on me and i still didnt say anything because i was so high and didnt know how to stop him because we'd been seeing each other and i didnt know how to tell him i didnt want it. i tried pushing him away with my legs and kept trying to close my legs and move my hips away from him but he must have thought that was me enjoying it (but we've had sex before and i've never resisted or fought him like that). i dont even think he recognized that i was fighting because he was so animalistic and set on having sex. after about an hour i was finally able to vocalize that i wasnt consenting. i was really really freaked out. i dont know if that was rape because i never said no, and when i told him to stop he did, but at the same time i was so high and resisting him the entire time, and i felt like it was pretty clear that i was in pain and not having it. and the whole reason i didnt feel like i could tell him to stop was because i was so messed up from the drugs and afraid of how he was acting and afraid i would offend him by telling him to stop. hes a nice enough guy, i really dont think he meant any harm, so i'm really confused about it. it felt like rape because i was so scared and now im really shaken up, but the whole lack of verbalization on my part complicates things. help please?
Answer
Dear Girl,
This is not rape, but violent sex.
I have a few suggestions for your happy and healthy life.
Avoid having sex till marriage.Otherwise you will be used as a kind of commodity by men showing false love.
Pray to God every day and walk in holiness. This will bring peace, happiness and joy to you that no humans can give you
Have a nice day
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