Expert: Dr.Sunu Sundar - 11/6/2009

Question
Five years ago I was in a verbally abusive relationship, but we were having a baby so I just put up with it. My son was born and two months later his father walked out on us. He was always calling me or texting me every time he got drunk, crying that he was sorry for the way he treated me and how much he really did love me. Well after five months of this I didn't really want to hear it anymore cause when he wasn't drunk it was the same old abuse with him. One night he called me up drunk, saying how sorry he was and how much he loved me and asked me if he could come over. I told him it was late and that I was sleeping and didn't want to be bothered. I hung up the phone and went back to sleep. It was a few hours later when I felt a presence in the room. He still had the keys to our home at that point and let himself in. I opened my eyes just a bit, to see him standing there naked and kissing my forehead. I was so tried and out of it, I honestly thought that I was dreaming so I rolled over and went back to sleep. It wasn't but minutes later that I was woken up and realized that I wasn't dreaming he was really there naked and on top of me. He was kissing me all over with his hand up my shirt. I tried to wiggle from underneath him but he just started taking off my clothes. Once I was naked he turned me over on my stomach, he put his hand over my mouth and pinned my hands to my back. He then had sex with me, anal and vaginal. I've never told anyone what happened, I had just had a kid with him and up until five months prior to it I was living with him. I never said anything to him like stop or no!! It has been five years and it is starting to get to me that I have this secret from my closet friends. And I am now in a very loving and caring relationship and he is always wondering why I am such a jumpy person and why I am so insecure, and why I can't stand to look at my own body! It happened five years ago and has nothing to do with him, so do I tell him what happened? Or just let it go!!

Answer
Dear Jessica,

What you must be careful here is not about telling the  secret to the present man or hiding it.If you say it or  hide  it  both will bring  problems to you if this person's love towards to you is  not genuine.Mnay times the love shown  initially seems to be genuine ,but as time goes the real color  blooms up   gradually!

It is too early to  fall in to his  nest. Human beings cannot love other(s)   genuinely ignoring the weaknesses of the if  he/she  does not  have  an active relationship with   the Creator-God.

Considering the above  wisdom you mat decide accordingly.

Have   a nice  day

-Dr.Sunu