AboutLucille Zimmerman Expertise I can answer questions related to childhood sexual abuse, specifically the ways it negatively
impacts a person emotionally.
Experience For two years I have led a weekly support group for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
Organizations American Association of Christian Counseling, American Psychological Association, EMDRIA
Publications Several newspaper articles. I am now working on a book with an agent.
Education/Credentials Master of Arts in Counseling
Awards and Honors Maintained a 3.95 GPA in graduate school
Past/Present Clients I have worked with clients who have Dissociative Identity Disorder (previously called multiple personality disorder) due to post-traumatic stress surrounding childhood sexual abuse. I have spent lots of time with this type of clientele
Question i got raped when i was 8 years old im 17 right now and sometimes i have nightmares and i get in a
bad mood sometimes i dont know what to do i want the nightmares to stop
another part is that im confused about what i like sexually what a coincidence i think im gay and i
got raped
i like penises but not men if that makes sense i went out with a dude once and i kissed him but it felt
weird and awkward like its not meant to be it just felt like nothing just nothing like just skin
touching i didnt like that im really confused can you help?
ive never gone out with a girl because i think im gay i dont like vaginas even though i never tried it
before and ive never kissed a girl should i try going out with a girl and see how it goes or what
should i do
i try and try to look for answers but i haven't found anything yet
and..... when i got raped i didnt try to fight him or anything he just told me to touch him and i did
it he told me to bend lower and i did it i didnt fight back or try to stop him. he said to me your
father left you but i can act like you father and help you become a man..
so he took me to his room to play video games and he put his pants down and he got my hand
and made me touch him
i remember saying to him this doesn't feel right he said go a head kiss my penis i said no he said its
easy and he kissed mine to show me that i can do it and i didnt kiss it anyway and then he raped me..
he was my neighbor i use to go to his house allot and on day he did that to me when i was nine he
tried again it was a party outside so no one was inside that house i wanted to go to the bathroom
and he was in there he said that to come in anyway because he was just washing his face (i didnt
know why i still trusted him) so i went in and he pulled out his penis out and told me to hold it and
kiss so hold his penis and kissed it right now im wondering why i still did that
and for some reason i cant remember anything when i was young but i can remember when i got
raped and i cant get it out of my head
ive only told one person about this and he said that i should tell people and talk about it
that doesnt help because right now my brain is just remembering what happened 9 years ago
can you give me some advise i need help"
Answer Dear Edgar,
I'm so sorry you were hurt by this person. That kind of abuse wreaks havoc on so many thing, including your sexual behaviors, thoughts, dreams, and associations. Unfortunately, there is little I can do via email except encourage you to see a counselor who specializes in sexual abuse/rape. It sounds like you might be having some symptoms of post traumatic stress (PTSD). There are several good treatments for that including a technique called EMDR.
