AboutDr.Sunu Sundar Expertise I can answer questions from rape victims who are desperate to find a source for inner healing. All my answers will focus on soothing the victims of rape ultimately leading to inner healing.
Experience I have been in counselling for last seven years. I have been counseling adults,teenagers and children who are abused and raped in various situations.
Education/Credentials I have a master degree in Psychology and another in Sociology
Question QUESTION: Me and my friend met up with two guys one night. We were all expecting to have sex, i was a little nervous. We get to the house and my friend and her guy goes into another room. Well me and the guy, Alex start kissing, and he starts taking off my clothes. he tells me to sit on him but he wasn't wearing a condom, I hesitated but did it anyway, after about five minutes i told him i was scared and i didn't want to get pregnant. he didn't really say anything, all i saw was his face and him biting his lips. It was silent. After five minutes i tell him to stop. and he doesn't, i pushed a way but he locked his arms around me then unlocked them and told me 'i couldn't do that to him'. I feel like its my fault for leading him on. he was drunk but i wasn't. I ended up crying after he left and ended up pregnant having to get an abortion. he told me 'either i get an abortion or I'm on my own'. Is this rape? I'm having trouble determining if it is or isn't. Please help me, thank you."
ANSWER: Dear Erica,
Peace be with you
Even though what was done to you cannot be strictly called as rape, yet I would call it as forced sex.This is because you also have a 'contribution' in the creation of the situation that forced you to oblige in bed.
If you write to me more about you and your family, studies, age , friends in detail , I shall help you.
Did you already have an abortion?
With prayers
Dr.Sunu Sundar
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Sadly, Yes I had my abortion and it wasn't easy. I'm seventeen years old, march is my birthday so i got pregnant when I was 16. I have two brothers and two sister, brothers have drug issues and my sisters are the perfect. I'm the outcast in movies, like the ones on tvs.. I don't really talk to them. I don't have anything in common. I started using drugs in a way to cope with the pregnancy. It was so hard for me. I didn't think itd be this hard, right before it i held my stomach and told my kid I loved him, though i was three months bregnant, it still hurts, until people experience pregnancy, they don't know what it feels like to have a kid inside of you. I still haven't brought myself to forgive myself for it, people tell me its what I had to do.
Answer Dear Erica,
I fully empathize with you.
I just want to tell you that God exists and He forgives sins.
If you seek forgiveness from Him from the depth of your heart and ask Him to guide you in tour daily prayers,in the privacy of your room, I bet you will be made complete.
