Expert: Dr.Sunu Sundar - 9/1/2009

Question
im 14 years old and i was raped 4 years ago by a close friend of mines brother. it happened quick, but the pain of it has yet to go away. i dont consider him my first time. that night i broke and ive never been the same since. i just came out to my mom and close friends about what happened that night. its still kind of a blur to me but i know what happened. i havent told my close friend whos brother was the one who raped me. i dont want to ruin her and my friend shp. we've been friends since we were born and shes too important to me. i told my mom i dont want to press charges but i cant help but think im making the wrong decision. im alot calmer with what happened and i dont break down as frequently so i thought asking someone on the outside would be good. so my questions are: am i making the wrong decision? should i press charges and tell herr what her brother did to me? also id really appreciate it if you could maybe give me a website that i could post my whole story on for free so i can help other girls who came out to being raped years after it happened.

Answer
Dear Paige,

I  understand the  dilemma  you are in.

I understand that your  friend is  close  and important to you. My question is-

In  her  view and  opinion, are you  important and   close to your  friend in her  mind  and heart?If so   your  pressing charges wont  bother her

If she is  really  your friend, then there is no problem of   your friendship   breaking and you losing her.

I recommend  pressing charges against the boy,however  is  it  no too late?

What are the  evidences you have to produce in the  court  to establish that he raped you?

You  need deep counseling.Your  mom can be  trained to  counsel you. If she   gets in touch with me I  can help her to counsel you.

Have  a nice   day

-Dr.Sunu. Sundar