Rape Counseling/Molested

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Question
Hi Susan,

I was Molested three years ago and it continued for two years. Everytime I got together with my next door neighbor (of the same gender as myself), she would molest me. I have reached out to my mother but she always "sweeps it under the rug" like it's nothing. I feel all alone like no one knows how I feel and it bothers me. I feel "dirty" because of it, like it's my fault that it happened. What should I do? Should I talk to my therapist about it? The girl who did this to me is a minor and has never been convicted or dealt with. My therapist strictly deals with self-harm and suicidal ideation. Should I find someone else or talk to her? I don't trust anyone because of it.

-Chrissie

Answer
Hi there Chrissie,

First of all i would like to apologise to you for taking so long in getting back to you i have had alot on this past week so please accept my apologies again.

Can i first of all please start by saying "THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT" i know first hand the damage that thinking that can cause a person so please don't think your to blame.  The only person to blame is the person doing the abusing they are the one who are wrong not you.

Parents find it hard to cope with when you tell them something like this my dad was the same pet and it was never spoken of again but it doesn't mean they don't care it just means they don't know how to react or probably how they will cope.

I know how you feel pet and please let me tell you that you are not alone there are others out there who are and have gone through this and they have come out the other side a stronger person and that is what we want for you.

You have mentioned that you have a therapist for suicidal thoughts and self harm can i ask if they are connected to what you have been going through? I went through years of self harming and i had 4 suicide attempts on my life all of which failed and i am so glad they did as then my abuser would have won and if you are doing this because of your neighbour then you are letting her destroy you mentally and emotionally, she has total control over your thoughts and actions.  Well time to fight back.  Do you feel confident enough to approach the subject with your therapist?  If not please don't worry as there are other organisations out there who can help you.

I do feel that you need to be speaking to someone about this.  Do you have a rape resource centre in your area that you could call?  They are run by men and women who have gone through
abuse and what you tell them is strictly confidential.  They can give you the right sort of counselling and help you come out the other end.  They can also help you with things associated with whats happening to you.

I cannot stress enough how much help there is out there and you are not alone pleases feel free to email me again and if you choose a private chat next time i can give you my email address so you can keep in touch.  I went through years of torture after my ordeal because i never spoke about it but i now am married and have 3 lovelly kids so the future is bright but it takes alot of hard work on your part and no it won't be easy at first but it will get better i promise.

Please let me know how you get on Chrissie you are a brave young woman and you are worth more than you could possibly know. Talking is the key.

Bye for now
Susan  

Rape Counseling

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susan O'neill

Expertise

I can answer any question about rape and domestic violence. I can answer how they feel inside. I can help when it comes to suicide attempts. I can give them advice on where to go for help.

Experience

I was raped at the age of 17 i am now 37, and i went through 6 years of being a punch bag. I had my front teeth kicked out of my mouth. I had a really hard life but have come out the other end

Organizations
I am a Jehovah's witness

Education/Credentials
I am not qualified i just have experience in this field and want to help people find the proper help and talk to them about how to cope with the feelings that come with these things.

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