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Rape Counseling/Questions Answered by Expert Lucille Zimmerman
| Subject | Date Asked |
| im confused | 1/3/2010 |
| Q: last nite i was with a group of frends. at the end of the nite it was me and another girl & three ... A: I'm sorry this happened to you. It is rape when you say no. However it might be difficult to make ... | |
| I don't know what to do | 1/2/2010 |
| Q: I don't know what I should do. First of all, I was mildly molested by my dad when I was 14-16. I ... A: What your father is doing to you is (in my opinion) of the most damaging things a person could ever ... | |
| sexual assault questions | 1/2/2010 |
| Q: when I was about 6 or 7 to about the age 11 I was sexually abused by my older brother. It was not ... A: Melissa, You have done nothing wrong. You drank. You did not ask to be raped or violated while you ... | |
| how do i not let it affect my relationships ? | 1/1/2010 |
| Q: I am 20 years old, female, I was raped when i was 10 by my step father. He did it throughout the ... A: You have been so violated and it makes me so sad and sick. You carry this shame, and yet you did ... | |
| molested as a child | 8/31/2009 |
| Q: I was molested as a child. Let me say that there was never penetration. Example, I would wake up and ... A: Have you ever seen a counselor. It's hard to pick emotionally healthy people when you're broken. ... | |
| My friend was raped by her brother | 8/24/2009 |
| Q: I just found out tonight at youthgroup that my friend was raped for two years by her brother when ... A: You sound like a really good friend. If I were you, I would encourage you to ask her about ... | |
| is it my fault? | 8/23/2009 |
| Q: well umm...i was recently raped by a fren...n afterwards he sed it was my fault because i was the ... A: Consent means that at any point you can say yes or no. If you did not want sex, and openly say ... | |
| My past negative experiences are starting to affect my current relationship. | 8/18/2009 |
| Q: I am 26 years old. I was raped by a close friend when I was 20. I went to a private religious ... A: Wow, I can't believe how you were treated after the rape. That is a secondary assault -- these can ... | |
| Rape | 8/9/2009 |
| Q: My 17 year old daughter was rape what steps can i take to make her feel better should i take her for ... A: Yes, I would take her to a counselor -- either psychiatrist, licensed professional counselor (LPC) ... | |
| Sister-in-law was raped by father | 8/8/2009 |
| Q: My sister-in-law was raped by her father growing up. She is on many medications for depression and ... A: Good for you for having the insight to realize that many spouses of perpetrators DO know what is ... | |
| childhood assult | 7/31/2009 |
| Q: I was 6 or 7 when i was sexually assulted. It wasnt an attack or some stranger i knew him for a long ... A: Your response to the sexual abuse is right on target. You are acting exactly as people do who have ... | |
| What should i do? | 7/29/2009 |
| Q: So basically there is this guy that raped me a couple years ago and said if i was quiet he would ... A: No you should not run away. That is idealistic thinking. You will only find more problems. You ... | |
| Help me understand | 7/22/2009 |
| Q: I am Sania. i don't know for sure if this will make sense..and I am not sure whether I am a rape ... A: yes, it does sound like someone may have abused you, though no counselor should say absolutely "yes ... | |
| rape of child | 7/14/2009 |
| Q: How do you begin to counsel a child (age 13) who has been raped? ANSWER: Are you a lay person? I ... A: I don't work in the field of rape, per se. I work with Childhood sexual abuse. You probably know ... | |
| abuse? please help | 7/3/2009 |
| Q: i am now a 15 year old girl, and some things happened when i was younger and i am unsure what to ... A: It can be confusing at times to know the difference between abuse and normal sexual play and ... | |
| i need help | 6/23/2009 |
| Q: i got raped when i was 8 years old im 17 right now and sometimes i have nightmares and i get in a ... A: I'm so sorry you were hurt by this person. That kind of abuse wreaks havoc on so many thing, ... | |
| was I molested | 6/21/2009 |
| Q: I am not sure if I was molested by my grandfather or if he was just trying to help me. I was 13 ... A: Yes, I would consider that molestation. I consider it abuse when someone uses another for their own ... | |
| I am a Surviver | 6/8/2009 |
| Q: Where can I get good advice on inner healing. So I can be be happy with my self. I want to feel like ... A: I would contact a counselor who specializes in the traumas you've experienced, along with PTSD. ... | |
| My wife is a rape victim | 5/30/2009 |
| Q: My wife is a rape victim. it happened about a month and a half ago. Needless to say she was upset ... A: Jack, My heart goes out to you and your wife. You sound like an incredibly supportive guy. First ... | |
| one year after rape - long term effects | 5/28/2009 |
| Q: I was raped a little over a year ago. I am terrified of touch and men and feel I can't meet ... A: I think the terms sexual abuse/rape/incest are all related. Sometimes used interchangeably and ... | |
| one year after rape - long term effects | 5/27/2009 |
| Q: I was raped a little over a year ago. I am terrified of touch and men and feel I can't meet ... A: I think that would be a great idea. However, I don't think you should do that by itself. One of the ... | |
| one year after rape - long term effects | 5/27/2009 |
| Q: I was raped a little over a year ago. I am terrified of touch and men and feel I can't meet ... A: I'm so sorry you were raped. I can't diagnose, but is sounds like post traumatic stress (PTSD) ... | |
| nightmares after trauma | 5/26/2009 |
| Q: I was sexually assaulted by two men over a year ago. I began cognitive behavioral therapy ... A: Is your therapy dealing specifically with the trauma. The best therapy is "systematic ... | |
| rape | 5/21/2009 |
| Q: My names Taylor and Im 14 years old. I was raped a few years back and it seems to be popping up ... A: I'm so glad you had the courage to tell and didn't keep it in where it could do psychological ... | |
| Children abused by neighbor | 5/21/2009 |
| Q: We have just found out that one of our sons was sexually abused by a neighbor as a young child (5-6) ... A: First of all, I'm sorry about your son. I'm glad he was able to tell you. Hmm, that's a tough one ... | |
| Rape | 5/15/2009 |
| Q: I was raped once at the age of 13 by my brother than again raped 20 years later in my home by a ... A: Yes, even if it was only once as a child, it is still considered sexual abuse. Childhood sexual ... | |
| rape and sexual abuse | 5/6/2009 |
| Q: I am 21 and when I was 14 I was raped by a guy I was tutoring. He had pushed me down and put a ... A: I do not think you are over the PTSD and that counseling is still very necessary. There is a type of ... | |
| rape and sexual abuse | 5/6/2009 |
| Q: I am 21 and when I was 14 I was raped by a guy I was tutoring. He had pushed me down and put a ... A: Your abuse has been horrendous. You are clearly showing signs of post-traumatic stress disorder ... | |
| Severe childhood sexual abuse | 5/5/2009 |
| Q: I've been struggling with asking someone about this for some time, just was never sure how to go ... A: My heart goes out to you. You are aware of how great an impact sexual abuse has on a child. It can ... | |
| my dad raped my sister | 5/3/2009 |
| Q: This is not easy for me to talk about. Its 1 in the morning and yet im awake surfing the net on how ... A: Daniel, Childhood Sexual Abuse/Incest is one of the most damaging things that can happen to ... | |
| My girlfriend got raped at a young age | 2/23/2009 |
| Q: i have been with my girlfriend for almost three years now and just recently she told me she was ... A: There isn't a lot you can do to help her except be supportive. What she needs is counseling from ... | |
| Molestation. | 2/22/2009 |
| Q: I learned about sex at a very eary age.When I was six,I had a crush on my gym teacher and I thought ... A: I didn't read through your entire question because it was so repetitive. The OCD? It's hard to say ... | |
| Help me help somone i love | 2/18/2009 |
| Q: my girlfriend was sexually assaulted at a young age and was raped at 15 had a kid at 16 and is 18 ... A: Her reaction is quite normal. Sadly. People whom she trusted and whom she felt closest to, hurt ... | |
| girl friend was raped as a child | 2/17/2009 |
| Q: I recently found out that my girlfriend was rapped by her Dad when she was 10. It may have been ... A: Eric, I think you have a right to be troubled. I would not get married until you resolve this. ... | |
| my sister was raped by are father | 2/12/2009 |
| Q: I went to spend the night with my family on Jan 11 my girl friend had work that night so I went over ... A: Your story makes me sad, and I believe you 100%. It's so very typical. The worse offense is that ... | |
| Helping my wife | 2/11/2009 |
| Q: My wife was raped 9 years ago by an ex-boyfriend. We began dating 5 years ago and have been married ... A: You're in a tough situation for sure. Unfortunately we cannot make people do anything. We can ... | |
| i want to be able to talk about this.... | 2/11/2009 |
| Q: I lived with my mom my whole life in California and for the last couple of years out there (between ... A: I know you're scared - I was too when I was your age. I wished I had the courage to talk about ... | |
| i want to be able to talk about this.... | 2/11/2009 |
| Q: I lived with my mom my whole life in California and for the last couple of years out there (between ... A: Alex, I think you need to see a counselor trained in rape. You can contact a hotline like ... | |
| childhood rape | 2/7/2009 |
| Q: My 9yr old cousin was raped by her mother's boyfriend a few nights ago. He has been charged with ... A: I am so sorry and so angry for your cousin. You're right, there really is nothing to say except, "I ... | |
| What do I do? I'm Desperate! | 1/26/2009 |
| Q: My girlfriend told me that she had something to tell but she now doesn't want to talk about it. She ... A: It worries me that you are more concerned with marrying a woman who is a virgin, than the fact that ... | |
| Girlfriends past rape's tendrils possibly touching our relationship | 1/5/2009 |
| Q: I just want to state I have also copy pasted this question to Kim because I would appreciate both of ... A: No, I don't think it's against policy to ask two "experts." Your note was well written and I think ... | |
| abused by father | 1/3/2009 |
| Q: abused as a child told no one about it until now, why am i using chatrooms to chat to men, marriage ... A: What you describe is actually very common. Being sexually abused and abused by men is what you are ... | |
| my girlfreind was raped by her dad | 1/2/2009 |
| Q: It happenned when she was a teenager, she is now 47. We have been together for 12 months after her ... A: It does sound like your wife has a sexual addiction which doesn't always have to be acting out ... | |
| help me | 1/1/2009 |
| Q: then this year he raped me again please help me i am terrified of him,i am having nightmares every ... A: Amelia, I can't tell if your question is serious because it keeps changing. Please don't think I ... | |
| help me | 1/1/2009 |
| Q: then this year he raped me again please help me i am terrified of him,i am having nightmares every ... A: Have you written to me before? If I were you I would tell someone in a position of authority. I ... | |
| teenage daughter - decision | 12/24/2008 |
| Q: My 17 year old daughter attended a junior tennis tournament with some other players, chaperoned and ... A: Yes, I would at least call social services. That way an initial report is made. They may or may ... | |
| teenage daughter - decision | 12/23/2008 |
| Q: My 17 year old daughter attended a junior tennis tournament with some other players, chaperoned and ... A: I commend you for believing her and taking the necessary actions to protect her. That is the most ... | |
| nightmares and physical trauma | 12/22/2008 |
| Q: I'm a 17-year-old girl who was sexually molested by a relative from the time I was 6 to the time I ... A: I'm so sorry for what happened to you. It is very common for childhood sexual abuse survivors to ... | |
| My girlfriend was rapped by her brother | 12/17/2008 |
| Q: I've been dating a girl since a year now, we get along very well, but she some problems such as; ... A: Yes, sexual abuse in childhood can do that kind of damage to a person's psyche. In my opinion it ... | |
| rape nightmares | 12/12/2008 |
| Q: I was raped and molested by a close friend of the family from the time I was 7 until I was 11. Then ... A: Your story is heart-wrenching. I don't understand why you're still in a situation where your ... | |
| Male abuse victim | 12/8/2008 |
| Q: I am 44 yrs old and was abused by a relative when was a child. I remembered it all but only ... A: The fact that you can't or won't go to therapy and/or support groups takes away my best option for ... | |
| My girlfriend is withdrawing from me | 12/7/2008 |
| Q: I met my girlfriend a three months ago. Outwardly, she seemed like such an active and vibrant person ... A: Juan, I have a prediction: If you pull back a bit, she may pull forward. No, I would not ... | |
| My girlfriend is withdrawing from me | 12/7/2008 |
| Q: I met my girlfriend a three months ago. Outwardly, she seemed like such an active and vibrant person ... A: I know this is not what you want to hear. It seems very obvious that this girl is not interested in ... | |
| Confrontation | 11/23/2008 |
| Q: About two years ago my ex raped me. I didn't go to the police (i felt stupid for letting it happen ... A: I would recommend that you see a counselor for a few sessions to discuss this. Maybe you could even ... | |
| childhood sexual abuse. counseling help | 11/8/2008 |
| Q: "When i was younger i was molested and raped from the time i was 5 or six until my early teens. ... A: Vicki, Yes, absolutely, these traumas would impact you. Any ONE of those events would have been ... | |
| Still Cramping Years Later | 11/5/2008 |
| Q: I was raped as a child by my father when I was about 12. It was horrible and traumatic. He tied me ... A: I am not a doctor, but as a counselor I see people all the time whose physical health and mental ... | |
| rape | 10/31/2008 |
| Q: i hate the world n know cant even get on well with women as a result i have cut on all my friends ... A: No, I deal with females and males. Unfortunately Allexperts only lets me handle two questions from ... | |
| rape | 10/27/2008 |
| Q: i hate the world n know cant even get on well with women as a result i have cut on all my friends ... A: I think childhood sexual abuse is one of the most damaging things that can happen to a child. I am ... | |
| childhood rape | 10/24/2008 |
| Q: i am sitting here trying to figure out what to say. crying nearly hysterically. God this is hard. im ... A: I am sorry you are hurting so badly. My heart goes out to you. Memories have to be dealt with, and ... | |
| my partners rape | 10/22/2008 |
| Q: i have been with my partner for 12 months , i love her very much in july this year she told me she ... A: Tell your girlfriend to keep looking for a counselor she feels comfortable with. That's the most ... | |
| my partners rape | 10/20/2008 |
| Q: i have been with my partner for 12 months , i love her very much in july this year she told me she ... A: Your girlfriend sounds like she has some serious mental health issues, from what I can tell. Rape ... | |
| rape | 10/19/2008 |
| Q: I was raped in 1994 when I was in college by a guy who I was going out with and three of his ... A: Lakesia, First of all, counseling can help you learn to be in a safe relationship with someone ... | |
| rape | 10/19/2008 |
| Q: I was raped in 1994 when I was in college by a guy who I was going out with and three of his ... A: Relationships are about intimacy. One of my favorite quotes is by a man named Henri Nouwen. He ... | |
| Forgiveness | 10/9/2008 |
| Q: In 1996 my parents separated meaning I would spend every other weekend with my dad. 3 years later ... A: It is unfathomable what your father did to you. His behavior has most certainly impacted your life ... | |
| My uncle raped me recently | 10/3/2008 |
| Q: I just want to know WHY this happened to me? I am a good person and I have done nothing to deserve ... A: Oh Emily, I am so sad for what has happened to you. You haven't said if you've told people. You ... | |
| childhood rape and intimacy issues | 9/29/2008 |
| Q: I was raped by my mom's boyfriend when I was 11. I have had issues with intimacy and men around ... A: You have asked such a good question and one that I have struggled to understand for years. I wish I ... | |
| Follow up to result of being involved with a girl who was raped | 9/24/2008 |
| Q: Hey again. Your last advice to me was to back off the girl I was trying to help. I spent time with ... A: My, you have been through the ringer. Have you ever seen the movie, "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?" ... | |
| How to Move On | 9/23/2008 |
| Q: I was molested from the age of 5 until the age of 12 by 2 very close family members. I have not ... A: I'm sorry to hear all the painful things that have happened to you. I'm so glad you wrote in, ... | |
| Adult incest | 9/13/2008 |
| Q: I have a friend who has been raped by her father since she was 14yrs old. She is now 24 and the rape ... A: I pray she will eventually get the courage to leave. Here are 4 excellent books: Healing the ... | |
| wife | 9/12/2008 |
| Q: Yesterday my wife told me she was raped repeatedly for a period of 2 to 3 years by a step brother. ... A: My, it must be a relief to know, and at the same time, how devastating! Her symptoms of trust, mood ... | |
| raped 2wice in 1 lifetime.. | 9/4/2008 |
| Q: As a kid my ex fiance was molested by her stepgrandpa. this happend for a period of time througout ... A: What you did by asking your ex-fiance about her past was not wrong. People who are committed in a ... | |
| Cummed On | 9/4/2008 |
| Q: I'm a girl and I'm 16 years old and I was recently molested. It was pretty minor but it's still ... A: Fatimah, How sorry I am for you. What has happened to is a huge violation. It is sexual assault. ... | |
| Girl involved with has been raped. Need advice | 9/2/2008 |
| Q: Hey i asked this before, but wanted to see if I could receive multiple feedback. I am 20 and the ... A: John, The best thing, in my opinion, is to be her friend. That is what she really needs. I would ... | |
| Rape | 9/2/2008 |
| Q: I'm Richard, I'm 19, on my 18th birthday I was rapped by a man I don't know, on holiday (in an area ... A: I am so sorry you are hurting. It sounds like you've been very traumatized and that you are having ... | |
| Girl involved with has been raped. Need advice | 9/2/2008 |
| Q: Hey i asked this before, but wanted to see if I could receive multiple feedback. I am 20 and the ... A: You probably won't like the answer I'm going to give you, but I want to be honest. Your friend ... | |
| Girlfriend raped please help | 8/31/2008 |
| Q: My girfriend of 1 year told me that she was raped years ago by one of her boyfriends. It's never ... A: Jake, I can hear your frustration. Would it help to show her this email? Unfortunately there is ... | |
| Girlfriend raped please help | 8/31/2008 |
| Q: My girfriend of 1 year told me that she was raped years ago by one of her boyfriends. It's never ... A: Jake, You sound like an incredibly compassionate guy. Your fear in kissing her most likely has to do ... | |
| me | 8/21/2008 |
| Q: i'm a 38 yr old mom of 3 boys and i am fear stricken that something may happen 2 my children i think ... A: It sounds like you have aspects of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The three common symptoms ... | |
| child abuse | 8/20/2008 |
| Q: what do you call it when a female was sexually assaulted by her cousin at the age of 6. as a adult ... A: what you describe is actually very common, although it is very sad. A counselor who works with sex ... | |
| Getting past the past | 8/18/2008 |
| Q: I am 21 years old, and am currently looking for a way to get past my abuse. I don't even like ... A: Trish, One last thing, and oh so important. On the list of symptoms is a "fear of intimacy" - what ... | |
| Getting past the past | 8/17/2008 |
| Q: I am 21 years old, and am currently looking for a way to get past my abuse. I don't even like ... A: I cried as I read you letter. You described the stereotypic way an abuser works. It's all so ... | |
| child-father incest | 8/16/2008 |
| Q: I was not a victim but worry for my friend/partner. there were 4 children in her family. the boy(60 ... A: You sound like a compassionate person. I absolutely believe that a parent can abuse one (or more) ... | |
Lucille Zimmerman
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
I can answer questions related to childhood sexual abuse, specifically the ways it negatively impacts a person emotionally.
Experience
For two years I have led a weekly support group for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
Organizations
American Association of Christian Counseling, American Psychological Association, EMDRIA
Publications
Several newspaper articles. I am now working on a book with an agent.
Education/Credentials
Master of Arts in Counseling
Awards and Honors
Maintained a 3.95 GPA in graduate school
Past/Present Clients
I have worked with clients who have Dissociative Identity Disorder (previously called multiple personality disorder) due to post-traumatic stress surrounding childhood sexual abuse. I have spent lots of time with this type of clientele
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