About Sarah Expertise I`m a college student dealing with the effects of past rape and sexual molestation in my life now. Counselors, therapists, and adults all said I was ok, that I was "over it," but I now know what it`s like to never really "get over it." If this has happened to you, and you feel like there`s no one left to turn too, let`s just say I know what youre feeling, and there`s always someone to turn to. I don`t know anything about trials or legal action, but I know what its like to reflect on the past and wonder why you`re ok to everyone else but yourself. Free to talk anytime; I`m online often and check emails at least once every day.
Experience Having dealt with this all my life, I feel it'd help me to help others and know I'm not alone and tell them they arent.
Question l was raped when l was 11 years old, and now being almost 17 l find the only way to keep myself sane is to cut myself. l was just wondering if you had any information on the subject-l have some from other websites but l was wondering if you had ever hurt yourself or thought of it. Thanks for your time,Meghan
Answer Meghan-T
Thanks so much for writing, and thank you for your honesty. It takes a lot of bravery for someone to admit to cutting, even just to someone anonymous online. so you've taken a huge first step.
Cutting and self mutilation are very common reactions to trauma, particularly assult and abuse, sexual and non. But the cutting does indicate a really self destructive habit, as i'm sure you know. I don't have any real experience with cutting, only friends that were cutters, and some who still are. and i can tell you that their experiences can end very tragically if they never get the help they need.
please please please tell someone, anyone, about your situation. You can do it anonymously through your county/city's crisis center or sexual assault services center. You can find free counseling at community centers and churches. My fear is that if you don't tell someone, you will either seriously harm yourself in a manner that will affect the rest of your life, or someone who you don't trust or like will find out about your cutting and take a really unpleasant drastic measure that may not be the best thing for you. I have friends who ended up institutionalized at the age of 13 for this sort of thing, and it's because they didn't get help. so please, for your future, even though it may look dim now, reach out to someone, even on a hotline or through anonymity, and get some help.
It's hard to see now, I know. But things will get better with time and with help. And help doesnt always include pills and long hourly talks on a counselors couch, like we hear about. sometimes the best help is creating a strong support system around you, and educating yourself/being educated about what your emotions are and how to control them and live with them. You want to be able to walk down a street not in fear, and loving who you are. This can come, but no one can really do it alone.
Please look for some counseling in your area. Some counseling services are free, and some are professional that u have to payh for. often insurance will cover them, but if you dont want your parents to know you're going, then look into a free service. check out the laws to make sure u can be anonymous if you give them your name (and you dont want your parents to know). Often, many organizations provide group support- this can be a help in seeing and hearing, instead of just knowing in the abstract, that you're not alone. it can help provide resources and a good support system for you.
But you need to get help and be able to move past the cutting into a healing process. It won't be easy, and at times it will be the hardest thing you've ever had to do. You'll feel things youve never felt before, both good and bad. But in the end, you'll be able to live a normal, happy and productive life doing whatever it is that you love. Things can get better, so much better, but you need to be willing to take that first step.
maybe have a friend or parent with you, someone u trust, help you make a call or sit on the net and search out your city's resources?
Please let me know if there's anything else I can do. Feel free to write back any time. I hope you continue to move forward and I wish you the best of luck. Please contact me again if there's anything else I might be able to help with.
Thanks so much
Love,
Sarah
