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Reincarnation/Reincarnation and our loved ones


After a lot of research, I feel convinced that reincarnation does exist, although I must say it gives me no comfort whatsoever.

My father passed away a few years ago and I have always found comfort in the belief that when I pass, he along with my deceased loved ones will be waiting for me, and we will be together for eternity. But with reincarnation, how will that work? If people reincarnate, then how will our loved ones be there to greet us if they are off in other lives?

Another thing that makes me sad is when our loved ones reincarnate with new souls, won't they forget about us? For example, when my husband passes and reincarnates into a new family, then he would have no recollection of me and his children. Or when I pass away and reincarnate, what happens to the bonds that I have with my parents and my children?

I guess the gist of what I'm trying to understand is whether our deceased loved ones remember us and do they still love us? It would hurt me greatly to think my dad is indifferent towards me while I still love him dearly.

Hi Christine,

I gather these questions are concerns that a lot of people have about reincarnation.

When people have a strong bond of love, they will definitely be together again, in one of two ways, or both ways. Either they will meet in heaven, also called the astral plane or Summerland; or they will meet again on earth. The length of time that people take to reincarnate varies widely, as I understand, but most of the time they will be on the other side long enough that you will see them when you pass on. I don't know this for a fact, but I get the impression that 80 years or so (our time) is about average. If you read "Return From Heaven" by Carol Bowman, you will see there are numerous cases where people reincarnate back into their extended families. This is also a possibility.

People keep the same soul, and reincarnate with the same soul, depending of course on what you mean by the word "soul." When your husband passes and reincarnates, he may remember his life with you up until about his seventh year (though in this society, if a child tries to share those memories with an adult, they usually get silenced). After about seven years, he won't consciously remember you; but if you two meet, he will *viscerally* remember you. Then it depends on many factors, whether you would get together again--whether you had agreed to beforehand in the astral world; whether you are both "free and clear" at the time--the nature of your relationship. But you will recognize each other; and if it is your fate to get back together again, you will build the relationship over again starting where you left off. You may, at times, remember the earlier marriage. If you are in a culture where that is not ridiculed, you may take it seriously instead of passing it off as a fantasy or a dream.

When someone passes over, they still love us as dearly as ever. They try to help us and are very concerned about our welfare. Death does not change the emotional bond between people at all.

No-one stays in heaven eternally. That's a mistake propagated by traditional Christianity. The "Kingdom of God" means the state of communion with God achieved by the saints. That is a state beyond time, and hence, eternal. Heaven, or the astral realm, has a different subjective sense of time, and people can sometimes stay there very long times, by our reckoning, but eventually they have to come back, because life is not designed with that as the goal. Mistaking Communion with God for ordinary heaven is the big mistake that has crept into traditional Christianity and made so many people confused, now that reincarnation is being proven. The final aim of religious life is much higher than heaven, and takes many lifetimes to achieve. Heaven is basically a vacation, a place to renew one's energies, to reflect and to learn from the life that was just lived, and to prepare for the next lifetime. It isn't meant to be permanent.

Having studied reincarnation cases for some 14 years, I am not personally aware of any accounts in which a loved one reincarnated before someone got a chance to see them on the other side. I know this is a major concern for many people, but basically, my guess is, if you die and are on the other side, and you know that someone very much wants to see you, you just wait for them, like anybody would.

Best regards,


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Stephen Sakellarios


I can answer questions about reincarnation (from both Eastern and Western perspectives) and life after death, and how these topics relate to religion and spirituality.


I produced a documentary entitled "In Another Life: Reincarnation in America" which aired on PBS station KBDI in Denver, CO, Jan. 2003
I have a masters in counseling from FSU, and over thirty years' study of Eastern mysticism from carefully selected sources, plus eight years' study of contemporary Western reincarnation studies. I've published nine related articles online and in print. I offer an online class on the subject and maintain an extensive educational website at, as well as giving talks and radio interviews (archived on the website).

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