Dear Sandra,

I had a daughter born on 27th June,2000. After his 9th Birthday i.e. 7th September,2009 she left us all of sudden with viral fever which later changed to brain fever without any sign.After her we were so devastated and tried all methods to find her back.Every day i used to pray to talk to her because every thing happened so unexpetedly that i felt and still feel that it was just due to my lack of care she is gone but neither she came in my dreams,nor i conceived and till date iam living with a guilt that a small girl who used to love us like thing can not live us like that and may be some thing went wrong from my side.

How can i find if she is reborn or not.How can i be in touch with her.My only wish in this life is to meet her, hug her tightly and feel sorry for not being a good mother as being a mother i should have done my best to save her but i feel i failed.

Secondly, is it true that time of parting is pre-defined.This iam asking because few day before she left us she started reading religious book and gifted every one in the family some thing or the other.

she was such a darling and sincere girl that i crave to meet her by any mean if not in this earth than may be in the another world.

some times i go so crazy that i start calling her name loudly, i shout on her for leaving us and also on god why he took her.

what to do.

Komal, no matter what happens in our lives, there is one ritual we cannot sidestep. That is the ritual of grief. There are seven steps that must be gone through, and none of them can be ignored: shock or disbelief, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and acceptance/hope. The hope can't be reached without going through all the other steps, and the hope can't be that you can bring her back to what she was to you. You can't bring her back. With rebirth, we all become someone else, and lead new lives. This rebirth doesn't just happen to those who have died, but, in a way, to those who are left behind. If we don't let go and accept the death, we who mourn can't be "reborn" into new lives if we insist on regaining the physical presence of the loved ones we lose.

You must feel every emotional step of grief, and come to an acceptance that releases you, and your daughter. You must let go. You must let go of the guilt you feel, because you are not guilty. There is only so much any of us can do when someone is ill. Each of us are only a small part of what is happening to someone who is on the point of dying. We can't make a dying person stay, that is up to forces we can't understand. What we do have in our control is how we face our own grief and walk through every part of it to acceptance. You can't refuse to reach yours without making yourself, and others, suffer. Holding off acceptance will not bring her back. It will not give you the key to where she has gone, and what new life she might be living. We can't ask that gift to come to us. It will come if it's supposed to.

I have lost many people. I don't know what's happened to most of them. I do know where my brother reincarnated, and several of my loves across the years. But I accepted long ago that their rebirth does not mean we have gone back to the way things were. The child who was once my brother brought up the past with me only once, letting me know she knew the past inside her. I listened to her, and I was glad to know how our existence continues in new ways. But she is not my brother now. I let her go, and I don't insist she remembers any more than she does. I am not a direct part of her life. But I know how she is doing. My late companion is having a wonderful new life, with a good family. He is a part of the people who frankly saved the current life of my past life husband. He was lonely and lost in this life, and whatever guides us brought us back together for a little while. I somehow knew our past, but not who we had been. I tried to bring back something of the past and he rejected me. We were not meant to go down that path again. I learned from that experience, and let him go. It was only after he found his right path that dreams told me who we all had been, and that a love who had died in this life had once been his best friend in another one. A later dream told me that my love would come back as his son. I was given that dream because I can let go, and just watch, and be grateful that existences keeps going, and the connections between our souls remain strong if we don't try to hold on to the past. When and where we connect again in physical lives happens when it's right. We can't insist on it happening. The hope lies in the fact that when we are able to lay aside all the grief, and start our own new lives, when we least expect a reunion to happen - it does. For the sake of everyone and everything you hold dear - let your daughter go.


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Sandra Sparks


I can answer questions on reincarnation, personal past life research, famous past lives, and alternative memory theories (otherwise known as: if it's not reincarnation, what is it?) I DO NOT DO PSYCHIC READINGS - there is no quick answer to who you may have been in a past lifetime. But I can help you find the ways to uncover the past life memories you have within. I also do not give romance advice on the slim hope that it may be past life related. If a question is not on reincarnation itself it will be rejected.


I have a webseries called Going Past, on The Psychic Tutor channel on youtube: The channel also offers a recommended selection of videos on past life recall, and other webseries on psychic ability and dreams. In 2015 I published a novel, A Small Tale of Shakespeare, the tale of a strange small woman who turns out to be the reincarnation of William Shakespeare, walking in the shoes of a woman that Shakespeare felt he had wronged. The past life recall in the novel, though the modern day characters are fiction, are taken from real accounts of past life recall, surrounding William Shakespeare, William Herbert, the Third Earl of Pembroke, and the earl's tiny, almost invisible wife, Mary Talbot. The novel is available available at amazon:

I have written three books, Psychic Sensibility and BEING Home, about psychic and paranormal ability in relationship to dreams, and a novel, A Small Take Of Shakespeare, about reincarnation. Another novel, The Mind Demons, is in the works.

My work in reincarnation developed as I researched my own past lives, and discovered the best ways for conducting personal past life recall. I have been writing regards reincarnation and related matters since 1997, primarily on the internet.

Awards and Honors
My series of weblenses, The Psychic School on Squidoo, has earned a number of citations for excellence, and has attracted thousands of readers since it began in 2009.

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