Relationship Recovery and Resilience/Transitioning into a Woman

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Question
Hi Sheila,

I am a young 22 yr old recent college grad and I am starting to mature in all aspects of my life. In college I was your stereotypical drunk college party girl and I would frequently have drunken hookups. I stayed safe and haven't had any terrible physical repercussions, but I also haven't been in a serious relationship in over 3 years. I know I acted this way for other psychological reasons and now I am ready to move on from the naive girl I once was.  How do I move forward in my love life in a mature way without having a reputation from my past follow me? I regret some of the behavior I chose to partake in, but I can't change what has happened in my life.  Now I just really want to have a nice mature relationship with a man who wants the same thing and not someone who just wants me for my body, but I'm afraid my past will come up and ruin anything that I try to start....

Thanks!

Answer
Hello,

I don't think we can ever really "live down" our past, but we can "live up" to our future and all the potential that comes with it.

I am not the same woman I was 20 years ago, because we change with the passage of time. We've all done things we are not proud of... things we wish we could change. And if we could change those things it would be a pity because we would lose the great lessons that came along with traveling our unique road.

What if you meet a guy and the past comes up? Tell him, "that's my past and I choose to leave it there. I've evolved into a different person."

God almighty does not judge a man until his very last day, how is anyone we cross paths with qualified to judge us for leading lives we're all desperately trying to get through as best we can.

If a beautiful butterfly lands on your shoulder, will you admire it's colors and wings and splendor or waste time discussing it's life as caterpillar?

The people you'll meet on your path must meet you where you are TODAY, not where you used to be or they don't deserve to the honor of getting to know you at all.

Move forward and everyday commit to becoming more and more of the woman you want to be. It's your right to slip the old skin and grow a new one. I'm happy for you.

Best of luck.

Relationship Recovery and Resilience

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Sheila V. Robinson-Kiss

Expertise

I am qualified to answer any questions related to relationship recovery (Romantic, Family, Work, Friendship etc.) In addition I will answer any question related to the area of cultivating more bounce back and resilience in life. In short my specialty area includes helping people to "Get Over Broken Relationships" and "Get on with Cultivating Healthy Relationships", while growing lasting resilience in all areas life successfully.

Experience

Sheila Robinson is a psychotherapist, author, and trainer, with over a decade of experience helping people grow and sustain the necessary tools needed to bounce back from the challenges that life and relationships can present. She has written two books that focus of life/relationship resilience “Getting Over It In Milwaukee” and “STAMINA” . She lives and works in Chicago, IL, providing workshops, therapy, customized trainings, and style-STAMINA sessions.Her mission is to help people around the globe lead more empowered lives through clear thinking, growing resilience skills, creativity, visioning, and the mighty power of the mind. For more information visit www.staminaformylife.com

Organizations
National Association of Social Workers National Association of Behavioral Therapist Toast Masters International The Theosophical Society

Publications
Author "Getting Over It In Milwaukee" Author "Stamina" www.staminaformylife.com

Education/Credentials
Master of Social Work - University of Illinois, May 1998 Bachelor of Science in Sociology/ Journalism - Illinois State University, May 1996 Independent Clinical Social Worker - Wisconsin Department of Regulation and Licensing 2000, and Illinois Department of Regulation and Licensing 2003 (Full Certification, 3000+ hours) Future Milwaukee Program - Leadership Milwaukee Program, May 2003

Awards and Honors
• Future Philanthropist of Greater Milwaukee • NADEIS Networking and Delivering Excellence in Services, • University of Illinois Academic Fellowship recipient • Ann Keaton Outstanding Leadership Award

Past/Present Clients
Privacy regulations prevent me from disclosing the names of client's I have worked with in my private practice. Below you will find a partial list of corporate client's I have provided trainings for in the area of workplace relationship development. •American Family Insurance •Boys and Girls Club of America •Legum and Noman •Pearls for Teen Girls •Marquette University •Chicago Housing Authority •Governor’s Council of Wisconsin •Seven Stones Day Spa •Sanofi-Aventis •Social Development Commission •Women’s Center of Waukesha •Pfizer •Children’s Outing Association •Alverno College •Department of Veteran Affairs •Corporation Aurora •Coakley Brothers •YWCA •St. Mary’s Hospital •Milwaukee Health Services •Dakota Intertek Corp. •Village Financial Services •Private Industry Council •Learning Enterprise Academy •Ujima Inc. •Harvest Development Center •Reinhart Boerner Van Deurn SC •University of Wisconsin •Ortho Bio-tech •Novartis •Executive Women International •Lutheran Social Services •Planned Parenthood •Arkles Custom Products •Milwaukee Area Technical College •MCFI •House of Daniel •Roche Pharmaceuticals •McCormack Baron Ragan Corp.

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