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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Dating > How to Make the Right Move > How do i take the step forward in my relationship?
How to Make the Right Move - How do i take the step forward in my relationship?
Expert: The Interesting Man - 10/22/2009
Question
Hi, i was looking for a place where i could share my problems and get expert advice and found this great place. Hope u could help me in my problem. We haven't even held hands or hugged. Here goes.
I am 18 this year and i have started dating this girl for 1month whom i had a crush on for quite a long time. We are in the same school and in the same course of study in a polytechnic and had juz started school this few days but problems arise so early. We started when i confessed to her on via text message on handphones and she agreed to give the relationship a try. But on the second day after we went home from a school event, she texted me the next day asking if we could just be very close friends instead. i didnt want to give her any pressure so i agreed and weeks into the holidays, we start getting closer and closer and i knew we were not just close friends now. However, whenever i asked her out for a date, she would reject unless there were friends coming along. We had quite a few outings but every outing there would be my best friend tagging along, which makes me unable to initiate. She told me that she doesn't like holding hands, mushy stuff. She often asked me to be more initiative but i just couldn't find the chance to do so. We were quite honest to each other and she often tells me her problems at home and i find myself a good listener.
School started and more problems arise. In school, i often followed her around tagged along with our friends(we shared the same friends)and everyone knew our relationship together even her parents and mine so there is was like nothing to hide. I tried to be there beside her helping her out in where ever i could but she often ignores me and sometimes i felt i was treated worse than my friends. I made lunch boxes for lunch everyday for her and myself and i found it sweet. When we were not together we often message each other after school and i felt she still cares for me. But she changes so much in school. She chats with me in school but i felt it wasn't as much compared to friends. Whenever she needs help in her schoolwork or help in admin stuff, i will try to make myself available but she would choose one of her friends to help her instead.
I am really not sure if she really likes me a not. I really liked her and wanted to be by her side and watch over her. Could u help me in what step i should take to strengthen our relationship together and help our relationship get another step forward. Really need your advice thx.
Answer
You're being needy and clingy; also you're over-analyzing. These are all UNATTRACTIVE traits. Also dude, you need to understand something -- just because a woman tells you her problems doesn't mean she has SEXUAL or ROMANTIC interest in you, in fact the opposite usually happens. If a girl tells YOU all her problems all the time, she starts associating you with her problems and feeling bad. BAD NEWS FOR YOU!!! Also understand this ... even if a woman has high interest in you initially, if you start acting like a wimpy cling guy whose happiness depends on her ... that is NO FUN for her and she is going to move on. You need to focus on being attractive, and doing subtle things to keep her interest level in you high. Read these two articles and you'll be fine:
http://www.expertdatinghelp.com/Attraction/how-to-attract-your-dream-match.html
http://www.expertdatinghelp.com/Attraction/part-1-of-4-increase-interest-level.h...
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