How to Make the Right Move/Confused


So I've been seeing this girl for the past month or so. Now she has left to go overseas for four months. The time we spent together has been the best time I've ever had dating, and I have strong feelings for her. We had an intense connection. I went out with her on New Year's Eve and our chemistry was unbelievable. Before she left, she told me that she doesn't know where this is headed but that we are categorically not gf/bf yet. I told her that I wasn't interested in playing games and told her that I really like her. She kept reiterating that we could well have something when she returns, but that it shouldn't be assumed. She also told me that she was attracted to me but is still getting over a bad breakup and isn't at a place where she wants a serious relationship. I'm not stupid, so I assumed that she was telling me that it was over.

Now for the weird part: she visited me at work the next day and kissed and flirted with me openly. Now I am in a quandary. I've never dealt with long-distance before. I'm giving her all the space she needs (haven't contacted her in an way since I last saw her four days ago). I still really care about her, and the next four months are going to be very hard. Part of me thinks that I was just a cheap rebound fling, but part of me wants to believe that what she said is true and we might have a future. I don't know when or how to reach out to her. Any advice you have on this matter would be greatly appreciated, as it is doing my head in.

Hello, Ben.

This is not an easy question, but I always advice the people in your position to a little more selfish. Be open to seeing her if and when she comes back but unless she is really committed to coming back, you should not put your life and your dating life on hold just because she may be will want to see you again.

There is no way to know if you were a rebound fling or something more and that really doesn't matter at this point.   

It seems like you made your interest clear to her already. There is no need to pressure her into being with you more than you already have, as it will only have the opposite result.

It's best if you act like a single guy and are being open to meeting and dating other girls at this point, and if it so happens that she comes back and you still have feelings for her and you guys want to see each other again, then you will worry about it then.



How to Make the Right Move

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