Expert: Katya - 1/3/2008

Question
Hi,

I know that generalising the whole society will be inappropriate. But, I was just wondering, why more and more russian women are looking for partner abroad, especially Western men eventhough they have cultural differences.
What is the real truth about Russian men? Are they so unfit for russian women or is the fact that these women do have different perspective.

Answer
The real truth about Russian men is that they are men, and they are Russian. The major factor does not lie in Russian men (as infuriating as many people find me saying this).
This is a rather interesting question, and is impossible to answer without telling what your opinion is.
Okay...where do I start? Russian people in general have a firm image in their heads of the West being some sort of utopia where everything great. I'm not saying the West is bad, just that Russian people generally tend to have this over-simplistic, over-idealised great little wonderful image of a Western paradise. Russian women are no exception, and that's why they are looking for a partner abroad.
There are also other reasons, which have nothing to do with personal characteristics, the main one being the paycheck. It's embarassing and it's disgusting, but it's true, and I find it hard to respect the sorts of women who are mail order brides.
I recently found a site by a mail order bride dissing Russian men and Russia, and she found so many 'buts' and 'excuses' to justify herself. No, Russian men aren't perfect, and they have their minuses against Western men as well as their pluses. For instance, the alcoholic and the double standards when it comes to faithfulness do happen far too often, although it doesn't mean ALL Russian men are like that. But then, they are more courteous, romantic, and usually a little bit deeper than Western men (again, far from ALL Russian men.) Mail order brides justify most of their marriages because they wanted to get away from 'horrible' conditions, and although I agree that they weren't living in luxury, that doesn't mean almost becoming a parcel. Heaps of those marriages end in divorce, and usually because not only are their cultural differences, but the woman just wanted to get overseas and live richer. I know a few women who have stayed in those marriages, and mainly out of gratitude and guilt if they left. Love also happens in those marriages, I'm not saying it doesn't, but it's rare.
But that's just my opinion, from the facts that I've seen on the ground myself.