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Question Hi, Thank for helping me!!! I have this essay to write. I have included the essay topic and the actual essay. The actual essay has to be less than or equal to 4500 characters with spaces. I was just wondering if you can help me edit some grammar and punctuations? maybe even add some suggestions? Thank you so much!!! This is a very important paper to me and its personal so yea... Thank you again.
Essay Topic
Your Personal Essay should address why you selected pharmacy as a career and how the Doctor of Pharmacy degree relates to your immediate and long-term professional goals. Describe how your personal, educational, and professional background will help you achieve your goals. The personal essay is an important part of your application for admission and provides you with an opportunity for you to clearly and effectively express your ideas.
Essay
Thinking back now after three years, I still remember the faces that I saw on my fellow classmates. Some of them were scared, others frustrated but most of them were confused. It was that time in their life when their decisions would actually affect their futures. We were all juniors in high school at the time deciding what to do for the rest of our lives; picking careers that best suits our needs and desires. Although there were many of us that were confused, I also noticed that there were those of us who knew exactly what they wanted. Fortunately for me, I was one of them. Ever since I was young I knew that I wanted to be in the medical field, I just didn’t know which branch of medicine. My decision to be in the pharmaceutical field did not hit me until a medical accident.
I was twelve at the time with a hundred and three degree fever. My mom and dad brought me to see the doctor and as always there was a long line. I was drenched in sweat, my body was hot but I felt cold. I knew that my fever was getting worse. My parents held me up in their arms as I weakly lifted up my head and looked around. I noticed that there were other children who, like me, had fevers and getting shots for it. When it was finally my turn, the doctor gave me the same shot that he has given to previous children before me. Almost immediately after the shot, I felt dizzy, my eyes started to blur and my whole body started to tingle. I felt my whole body just shaking and holding on to everything more tightly. I tried to speak up but I couldn’t, my voice was trembling. As I lost control of my body it started to shake violently. That was when my doctor knew I was going into a seizure. It was hard for me to keep my eyes open as I heard my doctor’s voice in the background. I wasn’t sure what he said exactly but I looked at him dead in the eye until I couldn’t, my eyes closed on him. When my eyes opened back up it was four A.M. in the morning with my parents by my side. I was hooked up to two IV bags, one to each arm. That was when I knew I had fainted. I stayed in the hospital until I finally gathered the strength to walk after three hours. On the same day, we went back to our clinic and found out that I was allergic to the medication that they gave me. The medication was what triggered my seizure and fainting; but the doctor couldn’t tell me exactly what I was allergic in the medication or how it triggered my reaction.
There were so many questions that ran through my head that day, so many things that I was not sure about and wanted to know. That day was a frightening day for me; but I see it as a gift as well. At twelve, it lead me to a path that allowed me to decide what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, whereas for most people, it would take them much longer. Of all the questions and doubts, this was certain. It became unquestionably clear to me what I wanted to do. Ever since that accident, I became conscious to every medication that I have ever taken; what the uses and definitely what the side effects were. That was the point in my life when I knew for sure I wanted to pursue the pharmaceutical field.
The Doctor of Pharmacy offers me an opportunity to pursue what I hope to learn and to find out about the effects of medication on the body. My first and most immediate goal is to learn and do best I can with all my classes and hope for the best when applying to the Doctor of Pharmacy program. As for my long term goals, I hope that I can help prevent patients from receiving the wrong medications. I know how it feels to be given the wrong type of medication; it was a frightening experience and nobody should be put through that. Not only was I affected, but my loved ones as well. I want to prevent as much mistakes as possible and I know that going through the Doctor of Pharmacy program is my stepping stone to achieving this goal.
For the past two years in college, there was nothing else on my mind but the Doctor of Pharmacy program. My educational background has always been a good one. I have been in honors, ARISTA and National honor society. I currently work at a pharmacy so I know what goes on in it and how it functions. I have a reason for pursuing pharmacy; I have the educational background to get through the program and most of all, I have the determination, patience and willingness to achieve my goals.
Thank you!!!
Answer Thinking back now after three years, I still remember the faces of my fellow classmates. Some of them were scared or frustrated, but most of them were confused. It was a time in their lives when their decisions would actually affect their futures. We were all juniors in high school deciding what to do for the rest of our lives and picking careers that best suited us. Although many of us were confused, some knew exactly what they wanted. Fortunately for me, I was one of them. Ever since I was young I knew that I wanted to be in the medical field, I just didn’t know which branch of medicine. My decision to be in the pharmaceutical field did not hit me until a medical accident.
I was twelve at the time with a hundred and three degree fever. My mom and dad brought me to see the doctor, and as always there was a long line. I was drenched in sweat; my body was hot, but I felt cold. I knew that my fever was getting worse. My parents held me up in their arms as I weakly lifted up my head and looked around. I noticed that there were other children who, like me, had fevers and were getting shots for it. When it was finally my turn, the doctor gave me the same shot that he had given to others. Almost immediately after the shot, I felt dizzy, my eyes started to blur, and my whole body started to tingle. I felt my whole body just shaking and holding on to everything more tightly. I tried to speak up but I couldn’t, my voice was trembling. As I lost control of my body it started to shake violently. That was when my doctor knew I was going into a seizure. It was hard for me to keep my eyes open as I heard my doctor’s voice in the background. I wasn’t sure what he said exactly but I looked at him dead in the eye until I couldn’t, my eyes closed on him. When my eyes opened back up it was four A.M. in the morning with my parents by my side. I was hooked up to two IV bags, one to each arm. That was when I knew I had fainted. I stayed in the hospital until I finally gathered the strength to walk after three hours. On the same day, we went back to our clinic and found out that I was allergic to the medication that they gave me. The medication was what triggered my seizure and fainting; but the doctor couldn’t tell me exactly what I was allergic in the medication or how it triggered my reaction.
There were so many questions that ran through my head that day, so many things that I was not sure about and wanted to know. That day was a frightening day for me; but I see it as a gift as well. At twelve, it lead me to a path that allowed me to decide what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, whereas for most people, it would take them much longer. Of all the questions and doubts, this was certain. It became unquestionably clear to me what I wanted to do. Ever since that accident, I became conscious to every medication that I have ever taken; what the uses and definitely what the side effects were. That was the point in my life when I knew for sure I wanted to pursue the pharmaceutical field.
The Doctor of Pharmacy offers me an opportunity to pursue what I hope to learn and to find out about the effects of medication on the body. My first and most immediate goal is to learn and do best I can with all my classes and hope for the best when applying to the Doctor of Pharmacy program. As for my long term goals, I hope that I can help prevent patients from receiving the wrong medications. I know how it feels to be given the wrong type of medication; it was a frightening experience and nobody should be put through that. Not only was I affected, but my loved ones as well. I want to prevent as much mistakes as possible and I know that going through the Doctor of Pharmacy program is my stepping stone to achieving this goal.
For the past two years in college, there was nothing else on my mind but the Doctor of Pharmacy program. My educational background has always been a good one. I have been in honors, ARISTA and National honor society. I currently work at a pharmacy so I know what goes on in it and how it functions. I have a reason for pursuing pharmacy; I have the educational background to get through the program and most of all, I have the determination, patience and willingness to achieve my goals.
<<I went as far as I could. You're not putting commas in any of your compound sentences. Do it.>>
