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School papers, Essays, Dissertations/Please help me to fix my common app essay (extacurricular)


This is my essay about my extracurricular activity in summer. Please help me to enhance it better. Your helps will be appreciated.

As my passion for improving education for poor children, my teammates and I decided to establish our volunteer project  to foster their elementary education as well as build up some essential facilities supported to their education. We chose a small village in Vietnam to carry out our project.

Everything never comes easily. As this town is located remotely, there were not sufficient food and electricity. However, these children were so diligent and eager to learn new lessons, which gave us strong motivations. We began to set up a nice classroom with new blackboard, repaired desks and several decorative posters. Moreover, we taught them about fundamental knowledge and skills which were definitely beneficial to their real lives.During my experience, I found out the way to overcome obstacles in life and keep my mind optimistic. We also learned to say “No” to give up and fight all the ways for it until the last minute.

This experience obviously enhances me to be a wiser, more mature and more responsible man who dares to dedicate his youth to society’s development.

Because we are passionate about improving education for children, my teammates and I created a volunteer project to foster elementary education in a rural village in Vietnam. We taught fundamental knowledge and skills useful in the real world and built facilities that support education.

Nothing ever comes easily, however, and our project proved no exception. The town, in a remote location, lacked sufficient food and electricity. But the children were eager learn and diligent in their study. Their enthusiasm was a strong motivation for us, and in addition to teaching, we set up a nice classroom with a new blackboard, repaired desks, and several decorative posters. Our work gave us experience in overcoming obstacles and in maintaining an optimistic attitude in the face of difficulties. We learned not to give up.

This experience has made me a bit wiser, more mature, and committed to dedicating my life to the development of society.

Hope this helps.

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I have been a professional writer and editor for more than 30 years, taught speech and English composition at the university level, and have developed speech and English composition courses and seminars for businesses. I am experienced in editing a wide variety of materials, especially business, scientific, and other academic papers. I am familiar with all the major style guides.


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