AboutLaurie Hamilton Expertise I am able to answer questions regarding Scientology practices and procedures, belief system, donations, religious rites, management, administrative and staff matters.
Experience I am a second generation Scientologist whose parents began in Dianetics in 1950 and studied directly with L. Ron Hubbard. I have been personally active in the church for 40 years, have eleven years former staff experience in both technical and administrative areas, and extensive technical and administative training and counseling. I am "clear" and "OT." I come from an extended family of many religions, but my spouse and children are Scientologists, as are my siblings and their spouses, several cousins, nieces, nephews, an aunt, and an uncle. Between us we have had every good and bad experience one might go through in the church at every level.
I have problems with my brother being antagonistic about nearly every subject. He says things like, "whats the use, its going to get dirty again anyway". Ect. Everything I say is pushed back at me like im wrong. Hes very invalidating.
How do you handle antagonism and win with communication? I know you go to 2.5. But what does that mean? Maybe, maybe not? Like if I say to him" I want to clean your room". He will respond"whats the use its just going to get dirty again anyway!". I feel like I cannot win against him. What would be appropriate to say about cleaning his room?
Im starting to wonder if he is suppressive to me.
Thank you.
Answer I apologize for taking a while to get back to you. Things have been hectic here - business is picking up, kids getting ready to go camping, tons of animal-related activites, etc.
There is no pat answer to this. Some people, because of factors embedded in their case, are chronically antagonistic, angry, resentful, and there is nothing short of auditing them that one can do about it. You can temporarily raise tone on such by being half a tone to a tone above, but then they sag right back.
There could be present time irritants which keep your brother stirred up, and if he had solutions to those, then the current reason for the "antagonism" would evaporate, but there's no way to know, short of sitting face to face with him.
Tone almost invariably raises when one is overcoming obstacles and being productive. In order for this to be the case, one must have a goal or purpose, a known or knowable path toward it, adequate persistence to stay pointed toward the goal, and the ability to solve the obstacles between where one is and where one is going. If you knew your brother's goals and could take a part in encouraging his progress toward them (NOT substituting your own energy, skill or ability for his), you would see a raise in tone.
Antagonism can be a defense mechanism. Defending self from... what?
One would have to find that out from him.
The less one pushes back toward antagonism, the harder it is to maintain. But "pushing back" can be ANYTHING when the person is determined to be antagonistic. Any and all motions or communications you make can be fuel for criticism and attacks. In such a case, best to contribute nothing to the motion. Be totally bored.
I wish I had a ready answer for this, but this is a case of having to handle the person in front of you. And he's not in front of me.
