Expert: Ariela - 4/8/2003

Question
Hi!

I am hoping you can help me put together a list of Kramer's business ideas from the show?  I want to come up with everything from the coffee table book to the cologne that smells like the beach.

Many thanks in advance!

Answer
Dear Amy,

I believe this may just be all of them, but it's possible that I might have missed one or two (at the very most).  

- A pizza place where you make your own pie. "We give you the dough, you smash it, you pound it, you fling it up in the air, and then you get to put your sauce, and you get to sprinkle your cheese and then you slide it into the oven!"(Kramer)  (Episode #4: "Male Unbonding")
- A roll-out tie dispenser. "You're in a restaurant. You got a very big meeting coming up. Oh man! You got mustard on your tie!  You just tear it off and you got a new one right here. Then, you're gone!"(Kramer)  (Episode #5: "The Stock Tip")
- A cologne that smells like the beach. Stolen by Calvin Klein, in exchange for which Kramer gets his own underwear modeling deal.  (Episode #31: "The Pez Dispenser" & episode #51: "The Pick")
- A coffee table book. About coffee tables, with little legs and a built-in coaster on the cover.  (Episode #71: "The Cigar Store Indian")
- A brassiere for men. Inspired by Frank's man-breasts. Named "The Bro" by Kramer but "The Manssier" by Frank.  "Bro's no good, too ethnic."(Frank) (Episode #98: "The Doorman")
- A restaurant named "PB&J's".  Serving only peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  (Episode #121: "The Friars Club")
- A car with a periscope installed.  To help urban drivers with navigation.  (Episode #126: "The Invitations")
- A bladder system.  "It's not for people, it's for oil tankers!"(Kramer)  To prevent oil spills.  (Episode #150: "The Voice")
- A bottle containing both mustard and ketchup. (Episode #150: "The Voice")
- It was also apparantly his idea to renovate the "Crysler Building's Cloud Club".  "Which part? The renovating the restaurant you don't own part or the spending 200 million you don't have part?"(Jerry)  (Episode #150: The Voice")
- It was apparantly also his idea create 2.9% financing on Toyota on-ton trucks. (Episode #150: The Voice")
- Creating a fleet of rickshaws for New York City.  Newman knows a guy in the Hong Kong post office who ships one to them.  "It's the romance of the hansom cab without the guilt or dander of the equine."(Newman)  To be pulled by Manhattan's homeless population.  "They do have an intimate knowledge of the street."(Newman) "They're always walking around the city, why not just strap something to them?"(Kramer) "Now that's the first sensible idea I've heard all day!"(Jerry)  (Episode #165: "The Bookstore")

I hope you found this helpful.  Thanks for the question and please write again! :)

Best wishes,
yada yada yada,
Ariela Jaglom