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Self Defense/What are the actual risks of affairs?

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Question
Is sleeping with married women worth it? How often do guys really murder other dudes because they found out a guy was sleeping with his wife? Obviously there's tons of affairs being had in marriages and you can reduce most of the risk if the woman is skilled at lying or the husband generally doesn't pay attention. You're probably not the first person she cheated with either. You also should probably do research on the husband to see how willing he'd be to do something before you get involved.


But is it worth it? You talked about it on your site and in previous questions that guys were gunning for you after you did this. Could you explain experiences you had with this and when and why you decided to stop doing it? Thanks.

Answer
My attitude is overall 'no' -- especially if you're talking about a long term affair. A one night bang? Way less of a problem. An ongoing? Well, you're buying yourself trouble.

It's not that the sex isn't great. It's not that you might get killed. It is, and maybe.

It's about sticking your dick into crazy.

Don't stick your dick into
A microwaves
B blenders
C crazy

Unless the couple is into swinging or (who knows what version of) polyamory 'cheating' hits on a very deep, very powerful and very primitive level.   For both sides.

Open relationships hey, whatever. Good for them and if you can handle the mental gymnastics, go for it.

The problem is that if someone is cheating, something is wrong. Something's off in the matrix. Something that is so screwed up that cheating is the 'answer.'  Usually the problem is on both sides of the equation.

That's what you're sticking your dick into.

Being in an ongoing affair puts you into a very exposed position. Yes he might discover it. Or, just as often, in a fight or a drunken fit, she'll fuckin' tell him.

Yeah... that's loads of fun.

Couple of things you need to know. First is betrayal is the most harshly treated of all acts. Now which way is that going to go? Towards her? Towards you? Towards both? Towards himself? Well it depends. You can't guess which way it's going to jump. He shoots her? He shoots you? He shoot both of you? He shoots himself? Start with those combos and keep on adding to the mix. Attacks and beats the hell out of... Confronts and yells... who knows.

Second, I never expected to live past 21. My lifestyle was such that I had people gunning for me on a regular basis and of course I spent a lot of time swimming with sharks. I spent many years at high alert as my day-to-day. If bad shit came looking for me ... well I was looking for it. So my attitude was bring it on. In that state-of-mind what's one more dude gunning for me?

The significance of that is if-and-when the shit hit the fan, it would come as a surprise to me. Oh sure, they'd been going at it for days or hours, but to me him showing up was a surprise. You can be sitting there at work, a knock on the door or walking in a parking lot and there he is. When you're sticking your dick in another man's woman on an ongoing basis, you have to be ready to play at a moment's notice. (And that includes for months after it's over.)

You ask if it's worth it. Well once I pulled my head out of my ass and realized how much of the shit I was dealing with I'd called down on my own head, I stopped doing things that brought me short term pleasure but long term pain and problems. Fucking married women was one of those things crossed off the list.

I can't tell you if it's worth it. I can only tell you that it's a lot of work and stress.If you decide it's worth it, that's not my business. Just be aware of what it's going to take.

Having said that let me add in one place where I will say, "Hands down, bad idea."  That's getting your meat where you get your bread. Do NOT fuck a co-worker, much less a married one. Great way to lose your job.  

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Marc MacYoung

Expertise

Street self-defense, crime avoidance and personal safety

Experience

I grew up in the streets of Los Angeles in 'situational poverty.' I have dealt with criminals and violent people all my life -- both personally and professionally. I have written 15 books and 6 videos on surviving street violence. I was originally published under the name Marc Animal MacYoung. (Animal was my street name). I've taught police and military both internationally and within the US. I've lectured at universities, academies and done countless TV, radio, newspaper and magazine interviews. I'm a professional speaker on crime avoidance and personal safety. And I am an expert witness recognized by the US court system. My bio is at www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/marcmacyoung.html My abridged CV (Curriculum Vitae) is at http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/seminarEW.htm

Organizations
See CV

Publications
Too numerous to list here. My CV (for my expert witness work in court) is at http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/seminarEW.htm

Education/Credentials
Read "In the Name of Self-Defense" the streets don't give a Ph.D in scuffle.

Awards and Honors
See CV

Past/Present Clients
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