You are here:

Self Defense/Dealing with stares


Hello sir I have a couple questions, I'd like to know how does one deal with someone who is mad dogging?

One time after boxing training I went to the store albertsons with my dad and while he was in the store I was putting water in some plastic jugs and and in the corner of my eye I saw someone coming out of store so I took a glance (nothing harmful just seeing who it was)  and quickly look away (the dude looked pretty tough and
I didn't want him to think I was mad dogging) and went back to what I  was doing, seconds later I think I heard that he said or yelled something, wasn't sure to who it was I didn't look to see because I assumed it was for someone else. After I was done I was about to cross the street and saw him in the car he let me pass and I thought cool... friendly guy, as I was done putting the water jugs in the car I heard a car turning ... my way and
pretty fast and he went pass me looking at me hard. (When he passed by me I don't know if he was trying to scare me by driving dangerously close or if he really tried to run me over and missed  because I got out of the way quickly). Full of adrenaline (and pretty scared I guess) I got in the car and while I was in the car I saw him going around the parking lot seems like he was circling me and was mad dogging me, I prayed just in case because I was afraid of the possibility that he could get out of the car and shoot me or something, and  while he was what appears to
be circling me I looked down and was pretending to read something to let him think I  wasn't mad doggin and that I am not a threat. Not to long after, he left...thank God. After,I was thinking "so this is how it feels to be in these type of situations" you see I never been in situations like this. One thing I found kind of weird was that days after that incident I kept thinking how I could of handled it differently. Why do you think that is?

Other examples is that sometimes I'm walking in someplace like a store or on the street and as I pass by people sometimes they take a glance and others stare just a little longer (I can usually  tell by the corner of my eye) and when they do seem to stare a little longer I feel like I should look to see if they are but I don't look for fear of them taking my stare or glance as a threat and then want to fight me or they thinking i'm a creep and be "on alert" in case I "cause trouble". This uh "fear" causes me to be somewhat uncomfortable in public places, so how can I look around or be aware of my surroundings without looking paranoid or scared or threatening?

Also when walking on the the street and some distance away I think someone is staring at me for more than a couple of seconds or perhaps they just happen to look at something that is in my direction (not sure because I rarely look due to the reasons stated). So If someone looks at me in way that I perceive it to be (for lack of a better term) "mean" whether walking pass them or they being across the street how does one handle it?

One last thing these insecurities or "fears" aren't necessarily because of the incident with the thug or gang banger or whatever he is, for I had similar thoughts before it but because of the "driving tough guy" it made me think that a single glance can trip somebody up and this concerns me. What can I do so that this doesn't happen again? thanks in advance

Except for the one time the guy came close with the car this seems like more emotional and inside your own head stuff.  Also I don't know how you look or carry yourself

Start here

Eye contact rules (although specialized they can give you good info)

If you're not getting slugged, shot or stabbed by these yahoos then realistically how you're handling it IS working. You're assigning fear, anxiety and possibly shame/guilt because you're not being 'manly' enough.

Self Defense

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Marc MacYoung


Street self-defense, crime avoidance and personal safety


I grew up in the streets of Los Angeles in 'situational poverty.' I have dealt with criminals and violent people all my life -- both personally and professionally. I have written 15 books and 6 videos on surviving street violence. I was originally published under the name Marc Animal MacYoung. (Animal was my street name). I've taught police and military both internationally and within the US. I've lectured at universities, academies and done countless TV, radio, newspaper and magazine interviews. I'm a professional speaker on crime avoidance and personal safety. And I am an expert witness recognized by the US court system. My bio is at My abridged CV (Curriculum Vitae) is at

See CV

Too numerous to list here. My CV (for my expert witness work in court) is at

Read "In the Name of Self-Defense" the streets don't give a Ph.D in scuffle.

Awards and Honors
See CV

Past/Present Clients
See CV

©2016 All rights reserved.