Self Defense/Monster


How exactly do you become a so called "monster?" I wonder if such people actually exist or if it's more marketing bullshit. I'll explain. It's just like how you talk about on your website where people claim to be selling "ultimate fighting systems" or other crap that can't be real. Is it the same thing with people?

I think what happens is that people pretend like the guys that hurt other people are mystical or magical. As if predators have magical, super senses that put them above other people and enable them to hurt others really easily, so you don't have to feel like you're at fault when one of them does something to you. No, I don't think so. There's no such thing as a superman. He's just a comic book or cartoon character. Everyone on the planet is a human being and there's nothing special about anyone. If you put two bullets in someone's head, regardless of who they are, they'll croak just like anyone else.

Period. No one is invincible or unstoppable. Not martial artists, not soldiers, cops, criminals. Nobody. But what's perplexing about all this to me is the idea of the "killer instinct" you spoke about on your site. I hadn't heard about it before and reading over your site, I decided to awaken it within myself. It took about a day and a half over a weekend. It's difficult to put into words how painful it was. I've never really felt something that hurt like that did.

It felt really screwed up, to be honest. The main thing was your words of needing to make a "choice" in the sense that it all boils down to putting yourself above others. It felt like thoughts and feelings about myself were actual solid items and I was shattering them. Things like always needing to see yourself as a good person, wanting to be above violence, not wanting to hurt anyone. I would ask myself yes or no questions relating to the above ideas with yes being my own survival and no being the opposite. I actually started hyper ventilating and shaking at some points. I almost regret doing it. When it finally all fell away it was like something came rushing out of a cave and flooded me. A part of me felt really bad about it, but I drowned it out, since I did it because I really hated how weak I was. I wanted this regardless of what happened to me afterwards. In my mind, there was no other option.

I wanted to become a so called "beast" but it just made me realize how small and weak we all are. Because I have "it" I can suddenly turn a guy into worm food, but what's it matter? It's better to always avoid stupid incidents. There's almost never a time where it's justified to rip someone open, unless of course, you don't plan on explaining why you did it to the police. I credit you with making me a lot less stupid. I got Massad Ayoob's video on use of deadly force. Cheers for that recommendation. I'm a lot less of a little chicken shit now.

I personally think they should give you this information in school. It's actually useful in comparison to all the garbage people try to sell you or fill your head up with. Since it's so incredibly narrow what's considered legal self defense, and you can end up in trouble even if you were technically "right", you should let the little maggots say what they want and just walk away. Avoidance is the best policy. You shouldn't end up in legal trouble just because you took out the trash. The only people who can just leave a body on the floor and walk away are serial killers.

And yet there are plenty of idiots who dream of one day laying someone out and being treated like a hero because they killed someone. And just as many assholes who sell that fantasy. What's really ironic about this is that if you do badly hurt someone, it either hurts you too, or you did it for the sadistic pleasure you felt from causing pain or ending someone. Nobody addresses that. So either you end up saying "Oh god, what have I done!?" and it haunts you forever or you keep thinking back to it and wanting to do it more. Assuming you're some kind of psychopath or sociopath or whatever they call them these days.

I wish everyone had the killer instinct. There wouldn't be victims anymore if attacking someone came down to basically ending up a murder/suicide or the target outright killing you. I wonder if it's something you can teach to people in a book or in person. I guess it's rare that someone would need to ever use it, though.

So, how do you really become a monster? I don't want to be a man, or even a human being anymore. I don't care about all that pointless garbage that people pretend matters. Bullshit beliefs about being an "alpha male" "macho" "tough" "hard" all just pisses me off because it's imaginary. So much of what you think just exists in your head and not in real life. You have thousands of thoughts a day but very few of them mean anything or impact something in the real world. Nobody cares. You shouldn't either.

Hope you can point me in the right direction.

Yes, 'monsters' do exist. How do they become one? How many ways are there to get to Chicago?

That's not a frivolous question. If you stop and think about it, you can come up with multiple ways to get there. Same thing with becoming a monster. I know people were abused and mistreated who turned. I know people who were systematically trained and groomed by the government. I know people who life just kept on piling shit on until they 'lost it.' I know people who were born with parts missing.

Thing about them is they are not 'magical' (they don't just appear, grab your children and disappear). Nor are they, as you say, supermen. And yeah, selling them as boogeymen is a huge part of the marketing bullshit of a lot of self-defense. What's more, is they are seriously scarce on the ground. Unless you're talking specific environments (like prison -- then they're a dime a dozen).

The 'problem' with monsters is that so much human behavior runs along 'scripts' and expected 'stories.' If you are trying to follow that story line/role/script then you are at a serious disadvantage when dealing with them. Conversely, the first three lines of this song provide a very important truth.

Here's an important point in regards to what you wrote. Very seldom does the 'idiot who dreams about laying someone out' qualify as a monster. There's a strong social context to that behavior ( ). There's a huge difference between a monster and someone who is a complete fuck up about social behaviors/scripts and/or someone from a different social level.

Monsters are 'scary' because they don't follow the scripts people expect them to. That puts most people at a disadvantage. That, more than anything is the source of their power.

A whole lot of people talk about how Hannibal Lector (Anthony Hopkins) is so 'scary.' Hannibal Lector didn't do shit to scare me. The character who scared me was Archie Cunningham in "Rob Roy."  That was a sociopath who had the self-control to train and just enough self-control not to get 'whacked' by the people he was sponging off of. True sociopaths cannot function well in society AND they seldom have the self-discipline to practice... which is why they end up in prison so often.

How does one become a monster?

Well Samuel Johnson said: He who makes a beast of himself rids himself the pain of being a man."

My response to that is "Sack it up, Princess. While I could quote Buddha, I always liked the line from "Princess Bride"... "Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something."

Idiots believe that developing the 'killer instinct' will save them from the pain of life. I say "developing better coping skills saves you from pain"

Yeah, there is a time and place for taking someone out. But that doesn't solve your life 'problems.'  But too many people think it does....

I know this because, I've been that beast. And all that that did for me was to make sure that the only problem I had was people shooting at me.

It taught me absolutely shit about how to better cope and deal with people...


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Marc MacYoung


Street self-defense, crime avoidance and personal safety


I grew up in the streets of Los Angeles in 'situational poverty.' I have dealt with criminals and violent people all my life -- both personally and professionally. I have written 15 books and 6 videos on surviving street violence. I was originally published under the name Marc Animal MacYoung. (Animal was my street name). I've taught police and military both internationally and within the US. I've lectured at universities, academies and done countless TV, radio, newspaper and magazine interviews. I'm a professional speaker on crime avoidance and personal safety. And I am an expert witness recognized by the US court system. My bio is at My abridged CV (Curriculum Vitae) is at

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Too numerous to list here. My CV (for my expert witness work in court) is at

Read "In the Name of Self-Defense" the streets don't give a Ph.D in scuffle.

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