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Self Defense/Why does my buddy look stoned when people pick on him?


I never saw him fight but he does get people starting on him every now and then. Good looking kid, nice guy, doesn't pretend to be tough or look for fights and he's honest to a fault and doesn't hide his feelings. He doesn't
drink more than two beers at a bar and is drug free but I noticed something odd about him. Whenever someone
starts with him he gets very quiet and his eyes get kind of bloodshot and droopy like he just had a joint. He just stands there and stares at the shit talkers and they go away lol. He will respond with only "yes" or "no" for the next couple of minutes when talking to us like he smoked his brains out. He muttered under his breath in this weird caveman voice (lol) the word "faggots" the last time we laughed about it. I don't know if it was meant for us or the guys who left but he seemed pretty gone from this earth. And this is such a sweet kid. It's so bizarre and his eyes go back to normal like 5 minute later. He's completely unreadable and just looks like a stoned dummy. It's become an inside joke with friends now and he just laughs it off now and is nice to us. The only time he raises his voice or gets angry (and I mean ANGRY as in he turns the color of red wine) is when one of us goes out starting shit with
people and he seems so not wanting to fight or go anywhere near a fight and he tells us he won't back us up if we start something. He doesn't fight us though. He really seems to care a lot about us but his excuse for not fighting is "people get hurt fighting" and he causes us laughter. I agree with not picking fights but right or wrong I back my boys up.

Whats his deal does he have a mental condition to where he shuts down when people pick fights or something? Is it a trauma? As far as I know he's never been beaten up or even fought. He's a Christian bible thumper and his family are nice people.

While that could be a learned response (by going neutral you don't send out signals the guy could use to work himself up) it's also a VERY common behavior among people who can -- and will -- rip your lungs out.

People without experience get freaked out about the guy making the noise. People with experience are cautious around those with the 'sleepy eyed look' (which is what you are describing).

When you see it, it means the guy is (usually) ready to rain hell down on someone's head.  The reason this is scary is that the guy has enough self-control NOT to go off over words. But will do so if it goes physical.  

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Marc MacYoung


Street self-defense, crime avoidance and personal safety


I grew up in the streets of Los Angeles in 'situational poverty.' I have dealt with criminals and violent people all my life -- both personally and professionally. I have written 15 books and 6 videos on surviving street violence. I was originally published under the name Marc Animal MacYoung. (Animal was my street name). I've taught police and military both internationally and within the US. I've lectured at universities, academies and done countless TV, radio, newspaper and magazine interviews. I'm a professional speaker on crime avoidance and personal safety. And I am an expert witness recognized by the US court system. My bio is at My abridged CV (Curriculum Vitae) is at

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Read "In the Name of Self-Defense" the streets don't give a Ph.D in scuffle.

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