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Self-Mutilation/Self harm (3 questions)


So, uh, hi. My name is Ashley and I am 13. Now I have three questions all in the same category, so I'm just going to ask all of them if that's okay...

1: there is this girl who sits with my friends and I at lunch that I don't know very well, now I was on instagram and found an instagram page of hers that was a secret account. I learned that she has been cutting for the last 3 years and is depressed. She plans on commuting suicide on December 11 of this year. Now I don't know what do do because all my friends are quite close with her but I don't think she likes me very much because she always ignores my attempts to get to know her. I would love to tell a teacher or something but I don't want my name attached to it because I'm not allowed instagram and my parents would get very angry at me. Help?

2: I learned that my very close friend has been cutting for the last 6 months. Now this was quite a suprise as I thought everything was normal with her. I have talked with her and she says she is trying to stop. She is very against any form of proffecional help and for the last few weeks I have been her therapist. Now I don't know if we should continue like this (she had been clean for almost three weeks now :)) or if I should tell Siemens, Rick er being very mad at me, but get her proffecional help. Help? Thanks.!

3: So I think I have a type of depression called SAD, I have strong self loathing, self hatred, suicidal thoughts, I am always sad, I can never sleep, I get very stressed, and lots of other things. Now I have handled these feelings quite badly and have gotten into the habit of cutting myself. I would love to talk to a therapist or something, but don't want my parents knowing what I have done because I don't trust them and don't think they would handle it well. What should I do? Help?

Thanks for all of this, I know it's a lot. It seems that I have so many hurting people in my life ( my mom has depression, my friend cuts, 2 girls I don't know well cut, my other friend goes to counselling for stress and anxiety, and my other friend gets extreme 'winter blues',) so thank you for taking the time to answer these.


Hi Ashley,

In regards to your first question, if this girl is planning on committing suicide, you should most definitely tell someone. In the U.S., if you go to a school counselor and say that you are concerned about someone because you think they might be trying to harm themselves, the counselor can't give that person your name. And maybe your parents wouldn't be too mad if they knew you did something to help another person?

For your second question: It's good that she has you to talk to and that she has stopped cutting for the past three weeks. However, you need to make sure that you are okay with the situation and that it doesn't become too much to handle. I know you want to help your friend but you have to make sure that you are taking care of yourself as well. And maybe talk to your friend about why she is against professional help. Coming from personal experience, having a professional to talk to can really do wonders to improve your overall well-being.

And finally, your last question. I cannot diagnose you because I am not a medical professional, but I might be able to help you get some help. Depending on where you live, you might be able to find a counseling center nearby. I would call them and ask about their policy and see if your parents need to know that you are speaking to a counselor. You could also try telling your parents. You could just ask if you could go see a counselor because you haven't been feeling as well as normal. I don't think you'd need to tell them everything, but they might be able to help get you some professional help. And they might no react as badly as you imagine them reacting.

If you have anymore questions feel free to ask.

Best wishes,


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I can answer any and all questions about anything related to self-harm. I can offer advice on what to do if you know someone who is self-harming or if you yourself are. I can provide ways to get help and ways to cope. I have gone through counseling so I can answer questions related to that as well.


I was a self-harmer for a while, before I got the help I needed. I have been through what some of you may go through and I can provide an inside look that many others can not provide. I believe in getting help to those who need it. I have also helped friends and loved ones overcome their own self-harming addiction.

I have taken two seperate psychology classes, one at a college level. I have written two research papers on the topic of self-mutilation, focusing on cutting. I have read many books about self-mutilation. I have learned ways to cope, get help, and ways to relieve the anxiety in a way other than self-harm. I realize that I am not a psychiatrist but I believe I can help in a way that a psychiatrist wouldn't be able to by providing first hand experience with the topic.

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