Sex Addictions/High/Low Sex Drive

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Question
Hello :) I am a 25 year old female and I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for six years now. I don't believe that I am a sex addict but I do believe I have a higher sex drive than normal females. My boyfriend and I usually have sex 3-4 times a week and I would like to have sex more often where he simply denies me and says its too much. I've never heard of a man who didn't want more sex, and he belived 4x a week is enough. Does he's have a low sex drive? Am I too high? Or am I a sex addict?

Answer
I do not believe that you are a sex addict. Women and men arrive at their sexual peaks at different times. That may play a role in it. You guys have been together for 6 years.  Sometimes, when you are in a relationship for a long time,  the frequency of sex tends to decrease.  That may play a role in it.  He may have a medical problem such as Low T or something else that he does not know he may have.  It really could be a number of reasons.  But from what you have told me here I really don't think you are a sex addict.  So don't worry about that.  Have you talked with him to see if something is bothering him or does he seem distant or not emotionally involved anymore?  Talk with him and see if there is something wrong. Pay attention to his behavior,  phone calls,  texts, secretiveness, staying late at work,  etc. If you feel he  may be cheating, or no longer wants to be in the relationship. I hate to say that.  But, it could be the cause.  There is just so many things it could be. I'm sorry I can't give you a definitive answer.  I suggest talking and see if something is bothering him like work, extra stress, etc. It's probably something as that. I hope this somewhat helps. I wish I could be more help, but I can tell you that you are not a sex addict.  

Sex Addictions

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Leigh, BS, QMHP, QMRP

Expertise

I can answer questions about what it is like to be a sex addict, what out-patient therapy entails and about self-help groups. I can help you find resources in your area if you feel you need help. I can tell you what I have done to change my behavior and how I no longer act out. I can answer questions of how to help someone you suspect my have this addiction. I can offer advice for those who are or have been involved with a sex addict. I can inform you of traits, behaviors and symptoms of sex addiction. I am not someone who is looking at sex addiction from the outside and offering answers on what I think it may be like for an addict I am a real person who is living the life of a sex addict, in remission, who can tell you exactly what it is like. I am not like others who base their answers on what they read about in a journal, book or presume to know what it is like. I know from living the life of a sex addict what it is like, how to change, how to get help, and what your partner can do to help you and help themselves. Let it be known that I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist or medical doctor. I am a sex addict who can offer my personal experience of living being a sex addict. If you need to talk to a sex addict, then you can talk openly with me. You can always make your question private by checking the appropriate box before sending your question. I will not judge you. I am a social worker who has worked with people with mental illness, alcoholism, drug addiction and sex addiction issues.

Experience

I am a recovering sex addict. I have been diagnosed professionally most recently by the professionals at PCS in Scottsdale AZ in 2008. Previously, by out-patient therapists. I have been an addict for over 18 years. I have been clean for over 2 years. Each program and each person defines clean or sober for themselves. I have participated in intensive out-patient therapy, on-going individual therapy, medication medicinal treatment and self-help groups. I do not represent PCS, my therapists or my 12-step groups. What I give as a response is based on my experience as a sex addict, and someone who has and is engaged in multiple modes of treatment for sex addiction.

Organizations
CHADD NAMI

Publications
bp Forsyth Families

Education/Credentials
BS in Sociology BS in Criminal Justice 3 years towards Masters in Professional Counseling

Past/Present Clients
I work as a Social Worker. My clients have diagnoses relating to substance abuse and mental health. All of my current clients are involved in the criminal justice system.

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