AboutHilary Expertise Oral sex on both genders, mutual masturbation, making your partner feel comfortable in certain situations, insecurities with sexual and nonsexual relationships, dealing with rejection, helping make decisions, sex refusal, and many other questions you may have.
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Experience See Educational Credentials.
I've been around the block a few times. I've had many male and female partners.
Education/Credentials I type using proper English and I will ensure that the question asked will be answered in a completely understandable way. I have graduated college with an Associates degree in Psychology and Human Sexuality.
Question I have a good relationship with my significant other. We get along great, are communicative and open, and are very happy together.
I just have a problem with going down on him. I used to do it and then suddenly I stopped. I don't find it gross. I don't dislike doing it, basically. I just stopped doing it. And he's sad about it and wants me to.
We have sex regularly and he goes down on me. He asked why I wouldn't do it and I couldn't answer him. I don't know the FULL reason why.
I give him hand jobs ALL the time. We have sex a LOT. He does go down on me and asked why I couldn't go down on him if he could go down on me. I think the comparison of him doing it to me isn't the same as me doing it to him. I have never had an orgasm with him or come close. He has an orgasm, or possibly more than one, EVERY time we do something sexual. I often find sex painful or sometimes I don't even feel anything from sex at all. Sometimes it feels good-ish but nothing amazing, and that's how I've always been. It feels the best down there when he goes down on me just because he's stimulating a different part. If he is concerned about pleasing me at all then he wouldn't stop going down on me. Still, he's never done it until I orgasm.
I don't see what the big deal is... he has orgasms when I give him good handjobs and when he has sex with me. I do it because I care about him and want to be close to him. I think me giving him head is just another way he can orgasm and don't understand why it is so important that I do it! I don't like the expectation to do it and the fact that it's a "problem" if a girlfriend doesn't do it. Any insight or help with this? Advice for me or for him? Anything we can talk about together?
Answer The problem of your lack of pleasure is common, but the easiest fix is to tell him straight up, you want him to make you orgasm. It's perfectly normal to want it to come back to you. I would give advice about how to talk to him, but it's a personality and relationship level thing.
