Sex Advice/Oral Sex/arousal problems


i'm really shy to talk about this but i have to.. i'm 21 and i've been with my boyfriend for 6 years now.. we never had real sex cause i want to stay a virgin.. we just foreplay like we kiss and touch and everything besides the penetration
the problem is I feel nothing.. like when he licks my earlobe or neck absolutely nothing.. and we spoke about it today.. he thinks i'm cold in bed.. :(
i want to change!!! what can i do??? why is this happening to me?

You don't mention genital contact.  Are you having hand contact with each others' genitals?  Do you enjoy that?  Does he enjoy when you touch him sexually?  I think that is more important than neck and earlobe feelings (although most women enjoy having those parts kissed).  

It would help if you knew how to arouse yourself by masturbating.  Then you could tell him exactly what you do to get aroused and he could work at replicating that.  Practice makes perfect, but you're limited in what you can practice because you want to remain a virgin.  Lots of women your age who're sexually active have similar problems, so you have a lot of company.

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


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