Sex Advice/Oral Sex/Lack of Sex Drive


QUESTION: I'm beginning to get worried somewhat, over a course several weeks I've list my sex drive. I no longer want to have sex with my girlfriend or even masturbate. I'm just looking for an answer .

ANSWER: Several weeks is not such a long time.  These weeks in December are a stressful time for everyone, and I don't even know what's going on in your life besides Christmas.  If I were you, I would try to relax and look at sexually arousing material and see if you can get your sex drive back.  

If it isn't back by the new year, then I would see a doctor and perhaps have a blood test.  It could be a sign of a serious condition.  But most likely it is a manifestation of stress.

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QUESTION: I meant even before December in the early days of November, I had sex  about twice and both times left me unsatisfied. At first I thought it was my girlfriend, but then I realized that it was me. Then earlier this month   I turned down sex from my girlfriend and  with that she began to feel insecure thinking I don't want her physically.

You did not address whether there is stress in your life other than the usual holiday stress, but if your sex drive is really bothering you, and you really can't be motivated to masturbate or seek other sexual gratification, then I suggest going to the doctor.  The doctor will probably order a blood test which might look at hormonal and vitamin deficiencies and possibly explore the onset of a serious condition such as diabetes.

A blood test by itself is not painful, but I would much rather have sex or masturbate than get one.

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


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