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Sex Advice/Oral Sex/Sex Drive (Or Lack Thereof)


Hi Larry,

I am a gay male and have been in a relationship with my partner for over three years. For a while now my partner's sex drive has gradually been decreasing. I find myself wanting sex as much as a have from the time we began dating, but I get rejected 90% of the time that I try to initiate any form of sexual activity. At this point, I no longer make any effort to initiate, I just wait for him to come to me. I find myself feeling incredibly unattractive and unwanted. He is off at school in the city and I stay at home and commute to class and go to work every day. We see each other on the weekends. I get very jealous when I think about him masturbating to porn during the week simply because he shows a lack of interest in sexual activity with me. I look at porn several times a week, but I don't see why that should be an issue simply because I never show a lack of sexual interest in him. I also get very jealous when he looks at other men when they walk by. I'm not sure how to handle this. Help?

I have found that the best way to answer these kinds of questions is to remove all distractions and have a heart to heart talk about your concerns.  People vary in time when they're horny.  My GF has done the exact same thing to me but then tells me on the phone while I'm at work how she just got herself off.  I felt the same way you did, had the heart to heart and her excuse was that she's just not horny in the evenings and rarely at all anymore, but when she is, it tends to be in the day.  She assured me that it wasn't me and continues to show me all the love that she ever has.  Taking all that into consideration, I found that 80-90% of the times I was getting laid was on the weekends or on days that I took off, in the middle of the day.  It isn't me, it's her own chemistry.  You may have the same issue, regardless, nothing says stable relationship like being able to have a normal conversation to address an issue.

Sex Advice/Oral Sex

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