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Sex Advice/Oral Sex/Bleeding from Intercourse?

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Question
Hello.  I have a GP, but my question is of a somewhat embarrassing nature, so I should prefer to ask it anonymously.

I fairly recently got my first boy friend, and we've just begun having intercourse.  As a bit of background, he's equipped with rather healthily sized genitalia, and I'm sort of a small-framed individual in general; in addition, I've never had any sort of intercourse before.

We are always careful to be heavy on the foreplay, attempting to ensure that I am "relaxed" enough for a safe and mutually pleasurable copulation, and we use plenty of lubrication.  I have also been rather careful to "clean" prior to the act each time using non-irritant solution.

To date, every single act has produced what appears to be bloody mucosal discharge visible on the condom (tho we've been exclusive for nearly a year, we've decided to remain safe until at least marital engagement) or when cleaning up (e.g., wiping the anal area) after consummation.  I should note that, to date, our intercourse has been tremendously gentle and affectionate, eschewing the sort of rough union that probably wouldn't be expected of such a beginner, anyway.

Although there is no accompanying pain outside of the expected (and far less than expected, in fact), I have something of a haemophobia, and besides it apparently makes my boy friend exceedingly uncomfortable to think that he's damaging my body in any way; tho I am inexperienced, he is not, and he reports that he has never observed a similar musocal discharge from any of the other boy friends or sex partners from his past.

Should I be concerned about this discharge?  Cursory research seems to suggest that such a symptom is not a normal part of intercourse; however, I have experienced no perceivably ill effects that might be associated with any sort of gross trauma to the anal mucosa.

Thanks for your time and consideration!

Answer
You shouldn't be embarrassed to ask your doctor questions.  They're there to help you, and they're almost certainly sexually experienced themselves.

It might help to use lube when having intercourse.  You are still pretty new to this.  Even experienced women often do better when using lube.  I suggest a water-based lube to be applied either to your vaginal entrance or your boyfriend's penis prior to intercourse.

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.

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