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Sex Advice/Oral Sex/Boyfriend won't go down on me.


I have a boyfriend who can be selfish in the bedroom. I have been trying for months to make things equal between us but it always seems to lead back to his pleasure first. One of the biggest issues I have is that he doesn't perform oral sex on me. He always says that its the taste or that he just isn't into it. I have tried everything to try to make it taste better for him or to make it as pleasurable for him as possible but I feel that it is no use. And any time I try to bring up the subject of oral he tries to change it. How can I have him give me oral sex? I know I can't force him but just some way to justify him pleasing me in the best way possible?!

Hi, Alexis...

Tough situation.  I asked my partner, Jen.  I don't think we're going to be very helpful.  Her view is that it's a matter of personal preference and if he doesn't like it he doesn't like it.  It's up to you whether it's a deal breaker.  It would be for Jen -- and if I found a woman who did NOT like to receive oral, it would be a deal breaker for me, since I'm more interested in giving oral than in intercourse.

Bob (and Jen)

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Robert Rubel, PhD


I've specialized in everything BUT penile intercourse. So -- oral, fingering, vibrators, dildos, erotic shaving, setting a romantic dinner scene (all dressed up). Can also handle virtually all questions related to "adventuresome sexuality" (BDSM). Heavily published in that area (you can look me up on Amazon).


Author of: Squirms, Screams and Squirts: Going from Great Sex to Extraordinary Sex Author of a four-book set on Master/slave relationships.

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Power Exchange Books' Resource Series. This is a group of short books on specific aspects of the world of alternative sexuality.

BA, Univ. of Colorado -- Education with secondary school teaching certificate EdM, Boston University -- Urban Education PhD, Univ. of Wisconsin, Madison -- Urban Education Policy Studies with minor in criminology

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