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Sex Advice/Oral Sex/Nervousness from oral (receiving as a guy)


Hello Mr. Adams. I have a problem and hopefully you could please help with me. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for around 27 months now and I am having trouble staying hard during oral. We are both 18 and this just does not feel right. We have talked about it and I think I am just too nervous beforehand to stay hard. It happened last night which was about the 3rd time it has happened in the last couple of months. Last night I had given her head, then we fooled around a little bit and she started going down on me. Instead of focusing on how good it was going feel, she has given great head to me before, I was just thinking to myself "stay hard, stay hard" and of course I did not. I just really want your help as to why this could be happening. I love her sooo much and I want to get this issue fixed. Any help would be amazing, thank you.

There is no reason to be nervous when you've been together for over two years.  I suspect you are trying too much to stay erect.  It is often easiest to stay erect when you're not even thinking about it.  Have you done vaginal intercourse beforehand on these days?  I would suggest abstaining from sex and masturbation for a few days before attempting oral sex.  There is also the question of your girlfriend's technique.  The most successful oral is really a hand job with some oral stimulation.  If your girlfriend is trying to do it all oral, then that might explain why you're having trouble staying erect.

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


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