Sex Advice/Oral Sex/Is my boyfriend gay?

Advertisement


Question
I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years when we are having sex starts talking about and gets  this urge to suck cock, and wants me to agree that I would  like to watch him. I am so not into that, I want him to be into me not thinking about sucking someone else,but I love him and don't want to hurt him by saying anything, does this mean he is really gay ,i have no idea  what to think .Confused.

Answer
Hi Shannon,

Many men and women have fantasies about engaging in some same sex activities.  In fact, probably most to some extent.  That by itself means very little.  If his interest is persistent and intense, he might be bisexual or he might just need to try it once to see how it really feels.  Until he tried it once he may not know.  You might have a conversation with him expressing how you feel about this obsession he has.  Then, if you are ok with it and if he insists, tell him he can try it just ONCE to see how it feels.  But talk with him about your needs and feelings.  It is rarely a bad idea to open up a discussion about sexual likes and needs and fantasies.  You might tell him about any of yours too.  Now if you go ahead with this, make sure every one knows and agrees to the ground rules.  Are you going to be involved with the guy or just your husband?  Is there a tit for tat, are you going to ask for something in return?  When, where, how are you going to do it?  How are you going to find the guy.   Lots of things to discuss.

Afterwards, you have to talk with him about how each of you feel.  Honesty is very important.  Then make personal decisions based on that discussion.

Good luck,

Sex Advice/Oral Sex

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Tom Blair

Expertise

Sexual Relationship Coaching. Publish author. I am comfortable answering questions dealing with most areas of sex.

Experience

Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Sexual Relationship Coach Internationally read author. Retired Educator All relationships are based on having certain needs being met. Healthy relationships are ones where there is a mutual meeting of these needs. Respect, honesty, communication are just some of those needs When those needs and others are not being met, the relationship will fall into disrepair. Together we will identify those needs and work to correct the imbalance. It is not too late, love can be rekindled. And it can last a life time.

Education/Credentials
Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Sexual Relationship Coach Internationally read author. Retired Educator

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.