Sex Advice/Oral Sex/actions during sex


I am going to have sex for the very first time soon. Of course, I am pretty nervous but excited as well. My question is: I have heard and read different things regarding whether the woman is supposed to move with the man during intercourse in the missionary position.  Am I supposed to move with his rhythm?  Or do I remain more still and let him control the pace?  I'm also asking this question because I am an older virgin (in my late twenties) and do not want him to know this is my first time. I know being honest is very important, but I think this would kind of scare him off. (I have used sex toys often, so I am not worried about pain or being too tight.) One more question: Is there anything else I should know so that I don't come across as totally inexperienced and a virgin?  Thank you so much!

Hi Holly,

What and how much motion you supply to the act is dependent on several factors.  The position is key.  For instance, in the doggie style, you on tour hands and knees and he enters you fro behind,  There is very little you can do.  In the missionary and variations on it, sometimes he will pin you so tightly you will have very little movement.  But if you are on top then you have all the movement and control.  If you are going to try and match his movements he needs to be very rhythmic and constant.  If you are zigging when he is zagging, well, you can see the problem there.  

A lot of men say they want the woman to move and be active in bed, but what they want in reality is a feeling that you are into the lovemaking.  And that is usually transmitted more with the hands, lips and words than the torso.  He is going to want your hands to be active touching his neck, back and butt (and anything else that seems to excite him.  He is going to want you to kiss him, lips, neck, chest, what ever is available.  And he is going to want you to tell him that you love him(if it this true and appropriate)  Men love to hear that they a re goods in bed, and that they are pleasing you. They love to know when they are doing something you really like.  Words of encouragement.  So, talk to him, kiss and nibble and roam those hands all over his back and grab his butt and he will think you are a great lover.  Men really are easy.  If you want more info, stop by my web site .  There you can find a blog that may give you some insight and an Intimate Couples Store where you can find Books, DVDs and more to enhance your love making.

Have Fun,

Sex Advice/Oral Sex

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Tom Blair


Sexual Relationship Coaching. Publish author. I am comfortable answering questions dealing with most areas of sex.


Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Sexual Relationship Coach Internationally read author. Retired Educator All relationships are based on having certain needs being met. Healthy relationships are ones where there is a mutual meeting of these needs. Respect, honesty, communication are just some of those needs When those needs and others are not being met, the relationship will fall into disrepair. Together we will identify those needs and work to correct the imbalance. It is not too late, love can be rekindled. And it can last a life time.

Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Sexual Relationship Coach Internationally read author. Retired Educator

©2017 All rights reserved.