Sex Advice/Oral Sex/Post Break up

Advertisement


Question
Hi, I'm Harry. I'm 20 years old. I just broke up with my girlfriend of 6 months. She was the first girl that I'd ever been with. We didn't have sex, we thought we should keep that for our marriage. None of us had been with anyone before, we were both virgins. Although we didn't have sex, whenever one of us got horny, we'd call the other and we'd kiss and make out. One day, I asked her if she'd like to give me a blowjob. She agreed gleefully. Then, I got the first blowjob of my life. It was absolutely mind-blowing. I couldn't believe she had never seen a cock before, she was so good. I couldn't imagine anything that could feel better. And she absolutely loved it. She was an extremely horny person and crazy for my dick. She said sucking my dick made her wet down there and it was true, I touched her down there while she was blowing me and it was really wet. We started doing it everyday from then on. She was so turned on by sucking my cock that she wouldn't even give me a break after I ejaculate, she'd start sucking my flaccid cock again and again. Sometimes, she'd do it four-five times in a row. Even after I was completely flushed, she'd be craving for more. I was craving for more and more as well. The more she blew me, the next day I'd be craving for it again. She blew me everywhere(mostly in public): in the park, in a car, in a movie theater, in the university lift, in the toilet etc. She just worshiped my dick. Whenever she'd get a chance in public, she'd try to touch it and played with it all the time. It felt so freaking good. The fact that she sucked my cock so greedily turned me on ever more. But now that we've broken up, it feels different. I'm extremely horny all the time, too much horny. Day and night, I feel so horny. I can't properly concentrate on anything much. I resorted to porn, although I didn't want to, but it's proving to be not enough. I keep craving her fondness of my cock. The more I watch porn, the more I crave it. What can I do? What is the solution? I don't want to watch porn either. I don't want to be in a relationship anymore, but I keep craving for the physical stuff so much. Please, help.

Answer
Even though you have said that you have never had full sex, this situation sounds similar to a sex addiction, whereby a person is so insatiable for sex that it is distracting for them- and it detracts from their everyday life.

Bear in mind that most people will think about sex to a greater or lesser extent. In your case you definitely seem distracted.

Watching porn is also normal, so long as it does not leave you with negative feelings. Again, in your case, you view it as a problem that you want to solve. Abstinence from porn can help at times initially.

Because this has gotten to the point of being compulsive for you, I would think about seeing a psychologist who can best help you. A psychologist can talk to you and teach you how to overcome many problems. If, for example, you consider watching porn to be problematic for you and not what you want to do at all, your psychologist can help you find ways to keep your mind distracted from the thought of blowjobs. Your ideal psychologist will be non-judgmental and will not make you feel like a horrible person for your problems.

Also ask yourself if you have feelings of inadequacy or emotional issues (even a troublesome childhood) as they can be contributing factors to you feeling like this. If you can resolve a few problems in your life, perhaps you won't feel the need for such continual stress relief.  

Try to continue to pursue healthy hobbies (don't use drugs or alcohol as a replacement for porn, as you may have the propensity to get attached to those also). Make time for your family and friends. You definitely need to put in effort if you wish to overcome this.

Think positively. By keeping a healthy and reasonably busy lifestyle you will start to knock over this preoccupation.  

Sex Advice/Oral Sex

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Sophia Kate

Expertise

I will answer, with much thought and detail, a variety of questions regarding sex and human sexuality. I can advise people on how best to improve their sex life according to their personal circumstances. I am always ready to provide ideas and suggestions to others if they are struggling to find new and innovative ways to "spice things up". I am unwilling to provide advice that facilitates illegal sexual activities (such as bestiality, sexual assault, etc). That being said, I am always non-judgmental when I do choose to answer a question. Please do not attempt to engage me in "dirty talk" or attempt to engage my services as a prostitute! I am not acting in my capacity as a sex worker on this website. I will answer serious questions only.

Experience

I am a professional sex worker. I am a sought-after private escort who has also had experience working in brothels and erotic massage parlors. I believe that this equips me with a vast knowledge of human sexuality and desires. My clients present with a wide array of fetishes and requests, so I have experience in catering to different tastes and fancies. It is this that gives me confidence in my ability to talk to and help others with their sex questions.

Organizations
Scarlet Alliance- This is Australia's national organization that supports sex workers.

Publications
I regularly write and submit articles to Scarlet Alliance regarding issues that affect sex workers. The articles that I write range from being activist in nature to being more of an educational tool.

Education/Credentials
Law school graduate (Melbourne University). Therefore, I have achieved a Bachelor of Laws.

Past/Present Clients
I currently have dozens of clients who not only engage my services for sex, but also for the purposes of asking my opinion about their sexual circumstances and how they can improve their sex lives. My clients also provide me with an insight into the mind of a functioning, sexual being.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.