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Question
Hi! I am in my thirties and have had little dating experience. This is because I have had low self-esteem and extreme anxiety for most of my life. However, I am getting therapy and medication for this and it is very much helping me.  My situation is this: I am in my first relationship and sexual relationship. It is still new, and we have had sex a few times. My boyfriend always drinks some alcohol right before we have sex, enough to get him buzzed. My question is this: Does this mean he is not truly attracted to me? Since he drinks before sex?  He was sober when he asked me out.  Also, he is not a shy person at all. When we do have sex, he does want to pleasure me and make me orgasm, so he is not selfish in bed. If you could answer this I would really appreciate it!  This is driving me crazy!

Answer
He is obviously attracted to you.  He is pursuing you for sex and companionship.  Some men drink before sex to enable them to perform better, although in reality, alcohol is a depressant which will turn him off after it turns him on.  Does he seem to be attracted to you when he is not in bed?  I think that would be true measure of what he is attracted to.  The drinking is probably just a bad sexual habit he got into when he was younger.

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.

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I am happy to answer all kinds of questions about sexuality.

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I have been answering questions about sexuality from both males and females for over 13 years on my web site HealthyStrokes.com. I have been an expert on AllExperts.com for over four years and am currently an expert in eight sexuality categories. I am the top expert in seven of the eight categories.

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