Sex Advice/Oral Sex/I'm not sure..

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Question
I'm not entirely sure who to come to with this but here goes. I'm 14 and I'm uncomfortable with my body. I masturbate quite frequently but I only ever rub my clit, never fingers or a vibrator inside. I have came across the fact that, basically, one of my flaps in my vagina is longer than the other one and quite frankly, looks disgusting. it's not like the other one so that's what worries me. is there any way this can be fixed? I'm too scared to tell my mother as she doesn't know I masturbate and will wonder how I know about it. hopefully you can give me a solution, thank you (:

Answer
Hi Georgia,

These flaps to which you refer are most likely your labia majora. It is quite common for them to be uneven in size. What you are describing is something that affects many, MANY women worldwide. It is not dangerous or even "strange" at all.

I know that you are not necessarily sexually active yet but I will tell you about how unimportant it is that your labia majora have to "match".

Chances are, a sexual partner will NEVER even notice. Breasts are quite often uneven, testicles can be uneven or not the same size, etc. The partner who is right for you is one that will not be deterred or put off because "one side is bigger than the other". It would be quite immature of them to think that way, wouldn't it? Mine are slightly uneven and I get paid for sex very regularly. Let me assure you, not one client (or personal partner) of mine has ever measured lengths! There are so many other things to think of when enjoying sex.

I do understand that many people are quite self conscious of irregularities such as this. If what I have said above about the different lengths of your labia being completely natural and probably unnoticeable to others does not cheer you up, then there are options for this to be corrected.

It is possible for a gynecologic surgeon to trim the labia into a more desirable shape. This surgery takes approximately 30 minutes. Please be aware that depending on what country/area you are in, you may not be allowed to undergo cosmetic surgery until you are much older. Also, the cost of such a procedure may be quite high!

It is up to you whether or not you tell your mother. Please remember that there are so many other ways that you could have discovered the truth about the shape of your labia- I doubt that your mother would instantly accuse you of masturbating. People look at 9and touch) themselves down there quite frequently, and not just when they are masturbating. You need to clean it, check that it is clean and/or check for any problems. If there is any irritation down there the first thing a person will do is to look at an inspect their genitals. Surely your mother does not expect you to have never looked or touched down there aside from when masturbating. You do not have to inform her that you masturbate as it is a completely normal activity and is nobody else's business but your own.

If you wish, you can always speak to a trained counselor. They can help you become more confident about your body and will probably reinforce my argument that your body is fine and does not require any fixing.

Good luck and please remember that there are plenty of girls like you out there (including myself!) and that your problem is not really too much of a problem at all! There is nothing ugly or disgusting about uneven labia. Your body sounds perfectly normal.  

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Sophia Kate

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I will answer, with much thought and detail, a variety of questions regarding sex and human sexuality. I can advise people on how best to improve their sex life according to their personal circumstances. I am always ready to provide ideas and suggestions to others if they are struggling to find new and innovative ways to "spice things up". I am unwilling to provide advice that facilitates illegal sexual activities (such as bestiality, sexual assault, etc). That being said, I am always non-judgmental when I do choose to answer a question. Please do not attempt to engage me in "dirty talk" or attempt to engage my services as a prostitute! I am not acting in my capacity as a sex worker on this website. I will answer serious questions only.

Experience

I am a professional sex worker. I am a sought-after private escort who has also had experience working in brothels and erotic massage parlors. I believe that this equips me with a vast knowledge of human sexuality and desires. My clients present with a wide array of fetishes and requests, so I have experience in catering to different tastes and fancies. It is this that gives me confidence in my ability to talk to and help others with their sex questions.

Organizations
Scarlet Alliance- This is Australia's national organization that supports sex workers.

Publications
I regularly write and submit articles to Scarlet Alliance regarding issues that affect sex workers. The articles that I write range from being activist in nature to being more of an educational tool.

Education/Credentials
Law school graduate (Melbourne University). Therefore, I have achieved a Bachelor of Laws.

Past/Present Clients
I currently have dozens of clients who not only engage my services for sex, but also for the purposes of asking my opinion about their sexual circumstances and how they can improve their sex lives. My clients also provide me with an insight into the mind of a functioning, sexual being.

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