You are here:

Sex Advice/Oral Sex/Masterbating with a friend



My name is Katie and I'm 12 and from the UK. I'm not sure if this is 100 % the right category and I hope this question is not too wierd, anyway here goes

Recently me and my best friend have been masterbating together when we sleepover. For the first few months we just kinda ignored each other when we were doing it, but then we started talking about it and being abit more open. And now we do it quite often when we sleepover. ANyway, I was wondering if its wierd for us to do that together? or is it normal-ish and people just dont talk about it?

The strange thing is that when were doing it I get kinda excited by her doing it too... but I dont think I'm atracted to the same sex. What does that mean?

thanks for listening. :)

ANSWER: Hi Katie,
When you are going through puberty it is very normal to get turned on by a whole range of things! With all the physical and hormonal changes that will occur (and are occurring) to your body, it is more likely than not that you will find many different things srcually stimulating.

This sort of behaviour amongst friends (assuming your friend is of a similar age!) Is very common and very normal. It is common to have same-sex encounters throughout puberty and beyond.

You do not necessarily need to be attracted to the same sex to enjoy this type of behaviour! Enjoying sexual activities with a female MAY, but does not ALWAYS mean that you have same-sex attractions.

It is also really common to have crushes on girls from time to time.

This behaviour probably means merely that you enjoy her company, and when you get turned on you find sexual release with one another. As long as the acts remain consensual and neither of you feels pressured into anything, then there is absolutely nothing to be concerned about.

Hope this has answered your question!

Sophia xx

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------


Thanks so much for answering! :) It's nice to know that what im doing is normal. Btw I'm not sure what scrually stimulating means? Does that just mean like getting excited and wanting to masterbate?

About the same sex thing.. how do I tell the difference between if i'm having same sex attractions or if I'm just enjoying the activity without having same sex attractions?

Oh yeah, I have a question about having orgasms. I think I've already had an orgasm, when at the end of masterbating it feels really good for like 20 secs. But when i used to share a room with my big sis sometimes she would do it, and she made more noise and would move around like crazy when she finished. So am I getting a proper orgasm or do I stop before it actually happened? My best friend Zoe is the same as me. she says it lasts for like 20 seconds.

Also when I'm finishing masterbating my tummy button goes out! I mean just for a few seconds, and then when I'm done it goes back but its pretty freaky. And my tummy is hard too. Is this a normal for having an orgasm or should i be concerned about it? My friend's tummy gets hard but her tummy button doesnt go out.

Thanks and bye! :)

That's not a problem at all, I am here to help.

To stimulate means to arouse. Stimulating your clitoris means to make yourself more aroused and yes, 'horny' could be the right word here.
If you find something at you find it sexually exciting.

If you are sexually attracted to your female friend, you are likely to fantasize about her in a sexual way. You might also have a crush on her. You might want to see her naked or kiss her. If, however, you are not sexually attracted to her as such, you will just enjoy the feelings of her masturbating you like you would if you were using a vibrator. Usually a person is not sexually attracted to a vibrator but will still enjoy the sensations they get when using one. If you are in no way attracted to her it will probably not matter to you if it was her doing the activities to and with you or if it was any other person.

You mention that you think you have had an orgasm before. Perhaps you have not had one. Most people KNOW when they have had an orgasm. It is a feeling so pleasurable that there is no question in their minds as to whether or not they have experienced one. An orgasm is like reaching the absolute peak of sexual pleasure for a few seconds. You will generally feel satiafied afterwards, and the 'horny' feeling goes away quite quickly.

People do not react to an orgasm the same way. Some people move about lots, some do not. Some peoole sob or scream, whilst others are quieter. The only thing I will point out in relation to your sister is that masturbation is a private thing. Siblings should not masturbate in front of each other, and people should not do it in public. Your sister, even though she had to share a room with you, ought to save it when you are not there. Alternatively,  she could go to another room where her privacy is assured.

You masturbating with a non-related friend in private who is a similar age to you is acceptable though.

In relation to the tight abdomens afterwards, your muscles may just feel a little hard because of the physical exertion. This tight feeling, along with the sticking out bellybutton is probably more a response to the abdominal muscles being engaged during masturbation sessions. You might also get this physical response through exercise.

Hope this helps!


Sex Advice/Oral Sex

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Sophia Kate


I will answer, with much thought and detail, a variety of questions regarding sex and human sexuality. I can advise people on how best to improve their sex life according to their personal circumstances. I am always ready to provide ideas and suggestions to others if they are struggling to find new and innovative ways to "spice things up". I am unwilling to provide advice that facilitates illegal sexual activities (such as bestiality, sexual assault, etc). That being said, I am always non-judgmental when I do choose to answer a question. Please do not attempt to engage me in "dirty talk" or attempt to engage my services as a prostitute! I am not acting in my capacity as a sex worker on this website. I will answer serious questions only.


I am a professional sex worker. I am a sought-after private escort who has also had experience working in brothels and erotic massage parlors. I believe that this equips me with a vast knowledge of human sexuality and desires. My clients present with a wide array of fetishes and requests, so I have experience in catering to different tastes and fancies. It is this that gives me confidence in my ability to talk to and help others with their sex questions.

Scarlet Alliance- This is Australia's national organization that supports sex workers.

I regularly write and submit articles to Scarlet Alliance regarding issues that affect sex workers. The articles that I write range from being activist in nature to being more of an educational tool.

Law school graduate (Melbourne University). Therefore, I have achieved a Bachelor of Laws.

Past/Present Clients
I currently have dozens of clients who not only engage my services for sex, but also for the purposes of asking my opinion about their sexual circumstances and how they can improve their sex lives. My clients also provide me with an insight into the mind of a functioning, sexual being.

©2017 All rights reserved.