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Sex Advice/Oral Sex/cannot orgasm in new relationship

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Question
I am in my mid-thirties and in a new relationship. We have had sex a few times now, and I have not been able to orgasm, either through oral sex or intercourse. How do I talk to him and express my feelings that his oral techniques don't pleasure me?  I know he already feels badly about not making me orgasm, and I don't want to fake it, but I am starting to feel like I may have to fake it.  Also, do you have any tips on having one during intercourse? (I don't like being on top, though, because I am not skilled at it, and am overweight.)  I have no trouble having orgasms by myself. I have given him a tiny bit of direction during oral, but it's not working!

Answer
Hi Hally,

Great sex is mostly a matter of technique.  And truly no man knows all there is to know about pleasing a women. Do you think he would be open to reading a post on the female orgasm That I wrote.  It might help him understand the process.  The Post is called "Her Orgasm" at my web site  http://changescoaching.com/sex  There are a great many books and DVDs that help couples finds the best way to please their partners.  One of the fun things about many of these is that they give you new ideas about how to have mind blowing sex.  For both of you. So go to my web site and read that article.  Then say that you were online and saw an interesting article and look at it together.  Then go over to the Intimate Couple Store and look at the books and DVDs.  There are some specifically about how to satisfy orally and others about sex positions and techniques.  See if he is open to some educational videos. There are other things there too like toys and lotions and more. At the very least you should be able to open up a conversation about what pleases you and him or what you might like to try.  

Good luck,  

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Tom Blair

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Sexual Relationship Coaching. Publish author. I am comfortable answering questions dealing with most areas of sex.

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Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Sexual Relationship Coach Internationally read author. Retired Educator All relationships are based on having certain needs being met. Healthy relationships are ones where there is a mutual meeting of these needs. Respect, honesty, communication are just some of those needs When those needs and others are not being met, the relationship will fall into disrepair. Together we will identify those needs and work to correct the imbalance. It is not too late, love can be rekindled. And it can last a life time.

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Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Sexual Relationship Coach Internationally read author. Retired Educator

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