Sex Advice/Oral Sex/Anal sex

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Question
Hi,
It's not a case that she is trying to make excuses, because she really does want to go through some pain and experience this from me.  I could make that clear from our e-mails, but of course I won't.  :)  

I don't want to damage her.  Are there different anus sizes in people?  At first, with plenty of lubrication, I started to train her with a butt plug.  She said it hurt.  Saturday we tried with the real thing.  Of course it burned and hurt too much barely with the head in.  If there is variation in size and ability to take it, and if she just can't, I'm not going to keep trying.  But it would help to have some knowledge of anatomical differences.

Carl

Answer
Hi Carl,

The anus is designed to move stuff out not in.  The sphincter are there to hold stuff in and keep stuff out.  She can learn to relax them and stretch them to allow penetration.  You do that by inserting very small objects like your little finger and moving it around until she is comfortable with that.  Then some thing a little larger and a little larger until she is comfortable with something the size of your penis.  It may take several weeks to get her comfortable with it.  Then use lots of lube and take it slow.

On my web site I have the Intimate Couple Store.  In the books and DVD sections you will find several "how tos" for anal sex.  Also in the Toys section you will find vaginal dilators:  A series of vibrators, small to large.  Those work to stretch the anus also.   Take a look.   http://changescoaching.com/sex

Good luck,

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Tom Blair

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Sexual Relationship Coaching. Publish author. I am comfortable answering questions dealing with most areas of sex.

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Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Sexual Relationship Coach Internationally read author. Retired Educator All relationships are based on having certain needs being met. Healthy relationships are ones where there is a mutual meeting of these needs. Respect, honesty, communication are just some of those needs When those needs and others are not being met, the relationship will fall into disrepair. Together we will identify those needs and work to correct the imbalance. It is not too late, love can be rekindled. And it can last a life time.

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Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Sexual Relationship Coach Internationally read author. Retired Educator

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