Sex Advice/Oral Sex/Receiving Oral Sex


I separated from my husband in 2009 and started using vibrators and "toys".  I've dated on and off since then and can tell using the vibrator has made it a lot more difficult to reach orgasm when having actual sex with a man.  Most of the men I've dated haven't minded, and have even enjoyed the toys being involved, so it's never been a real issue.  However, I've met a man I really care about and we've been dating for almost 3 months.  I've never been big into oral for myself, however he LOVES to give and because he can't make me orgasm, he feels like he's not pleasing me, he also doesn't like toys in bed with us, he wants it to be just him and I.  I've tried to explain that he pleases me very much, and there are SO many other things I really (REALLY) enjoy, but he's really stuck on this, and it's making me stress when we're in bed together.  I'm hoping you can suggest some ways that might help me be more receptive to having oral done to me, I would really love to be able to enjoy it with him too, and/or a website or video?

If you abstained from masturbating for 5-7 days before receiving oral sex, it would probably make it easier for you to reach orgasm that way.  If you really aren't enjoying it, then simply put a time limit on how much cunnilingus he can give you and then tell him that's enough.  

You also might look into the kind of vibrator that attaches to the penis with a soft ring.  These are available at drug and discount stores.  They can often help a female who has become dependent on vibrators during masturbation reach orgasm in intercourse.

Don't be stressed by your partner.  Tell him what you want and how to please you.

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


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