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Sex Advice/Oral Sex/getting turned on by the WRONG kinds of things


dear Doug Adams,
thank you for taking the time to answer my question, before i ask it though i would like to state that i think what is going on with me may be related to my anxiety i would also like to to state that i am female and am 19 years old,so basically i am a virgin but i am into certain kinks and or fetishes (which i get turned on by ) but i have recently noticed that i get turned on by the wrong kinds of kinks or fetishes that are out of my control and those kinks are rape-related and and sexual abuse fantasy's............i know you think i am probably some weird freak but i was wondering what could i do to stop thinking of such awful things in a sexually pleasing way again thank u for your help
sincerely,some one who is confused

What you fantasize about is up to you.  Rape fantasies are fairly common.  I would hesitate to call them wrong, although rape and sexual abuse are obviously wrong.  If you don't like your fantasies, then work at replacing them with new fantasies.  Find some things to fantasize about that don't involve the areas you're trying to avoid.  It's good if there's more than one thing that turns you on.

If you become sexually active, you will probably find that actual experiences with those partners fuel a completely new kind of fantasy for you.

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I am happy to answer all kinds of questions about sexuality.


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