About Fox Expertise If you want to know how to give your girl the best cunnilingus she has ever had, how to make her explode all over your face and drive her crazy... or if you want to know how to bring your man to his knees with your mouth... I can help you. Oral is my specialty.
I do this for fun, but my real job is as an emerging solo artist. I have thousands of fans, please check out my music at www.elipsus.net and add me on myspace www.myspace.com/foxelipsus
Experience My favourite thing in the world is performing oral. Over the years, I have perfected several techniques. Every woman and man is different, but there are things you should know that will DRIVE YOUR PARTNER CRAZY! Write to me and find out... this could change your life and rock your world...
wehn i have sex i find it very easy to make myself cum and then go on to make my girlfrined cum.
But she is getting frustraited because i cannot cum when she is giving me head.. i feel as though i want to but then it goes away, is there something wrong with me i have had many girls give me head and its the same everytime
Answer Gavin,
I, and about 30% of men, have the same problem.
So here's some ideas... not the end of the world though, she shouldn't be so demanding if she gets everything else she wants. It's no reflection on her. How would she feel if you were getting mad every time you didn't make her cum, and blaming her for it? Tell it to her that way, maybe she'll give it a rest.
This basically covers all the bases if your woman can't bring you to orgasm, whether it's only from oral, handjobs or intercourse that you can't cum, or whether you just can't cum with her in general. This advice assumes that you can have orgasms by himself, from masturbating, or in other ways... but that she can't actually MAKE you cum. If you can't have orgasms at all, you need to go and see a doctor immediately and tell them. But if you can cum by yourself, just not with her, or with her, but not when she's in control (oral, handjob, woman on top), then this advice is for you...
That is a large part of the problem. There are a lot of men who simply can't be MADE to cum - or not easily... they often have to be partially or completely in control in order to reach and pass the point of orgasm.
It's a very common problem. I used to have it myself. I could go for hours but not cum during sex. You're probably so used to coming a different way, and it's difficult to adjust, a bit like when women use vibrators all the time and then can't cum any other way.
It doesn't mean anything. It definitely doesn't mean anything about you or her... that she doesn't turn you on, or that you're not good in bed, or that she's not, or you're inexperienced, or she is. None of that has anything to do with this at all, I promise you. Every man is different. Some may come if a woman so much as takes her clothes off, and a lot of men do have premature ejaculations from very little stimulation, but there are lots of men who aren't easy to make cum at all. In fact, a lot of guys don't cum during sex, or can only get themselves off - either in private, or in front of their partners.
The best thing to do is definitely to tell her how you make yourself cum... how often, and using what methods. There are lots of weird and wacky ways that men get themselves off as well as the usual fist pumping jerking off. Get to a point where you are comfortable enough with her to share with you the way you make yourself come.
Once you have shared the methods with her, it's time for some action. Allow her to actually show her the way you make yourself cum. Once you are comfortable enough with her, you will be able to do that: bring yourself to orgasm while she watches. She should play with herself too (mutual masturbation) to make you feel more comfortable.
Next time you do it, you have to let her actually take part. Whisper in your ear, encourage you, touch you (tell her how you want her to touch you, or tell her to just do whatever she wants). Then maybe the time after that, you can let her help you jerk your cock, or she can suck it between strokes... gradually, bit by bit, in private to make yourself cum. Once she actually MAKES you cum, there will be no turning back. You will get used to it, and then you'll be able to cum from her making you cum all the time.
This requires a lot of dedication, it may take time, maybe months of trying, but it's the only way she can actually make you cum, unless you sexually evolve somewhere down the line and are able to cum more easily, but don't count on it. I think it's worth it.
Once she can make you cum with your hand, or the way you do, it'll be much easier to make you come in other ways, like with her mouth.
One alternative, if you're really kinky, and never cum from regular oral, is to just fuck her mouth. Tell her you want to use her mouth like it's your dirty whore pussy (if she lets you talk to her like that) and to fuck it hard, or just ask her nicely. Fuck her mouth the way you want to fuck her pussy and ass. Then have her purse her lips and get ready as you grab the back of her head and literally fuck her mouth and throat.
For men that have to have control to orgasm, this can be the only way to achieve oral orgasm. Literally fucking a woman's mouth to climax the way you would fuck her pussy. She may also have to lie down and let you do it on top of you, if you're having trouble getting the right angle standing up while she's on her knees.
Only do that kind of thing if you're really sure she's ready for it and wants it. She might say she's not into it or think you're not into it, but that might just be because she thinks you wouldn't be, so convince her that you're up for it, if she is.
If you're not cumming during sex, that's probably a good thing. It reduces the risk of pregnancy if not disease :) it's also completely normal.
If you're not getting anywhere near orgasm, that's a problem. If you're near orgasm but never go over the edge you're probably purposefully holding back. You'll actually, ironically, probably fuck her much BETTER - your cock will be harder, more swollen... if you're approaching orgasm and holding back from it as you fuck her. The longer you hold it, the better it will be if and when you does release it.
If you literally can't cum during sex, it might be because you're nervous, or again, because you're used to cumming by your own hand. Repeat the methods above, and you should be able to slowly get over it. Also discuss all your sex fantasies, and write back and ask me for all the things that drive a man wild (for her to do to you), and how to make her explode and go crazy (to keep her satisfied in the meantime), those might help...
It's going to take some time to get to a point where you can cum for her, but do 2 things:
(1) As I said above... Show her how you make yourself cum, then let her do things to you while you're doing it that turn you on. Work up until she's actually stimulating you to orgasm, or near to it, or finishing you off. She probably thinks she doesn't make you cum cause you're not turned on by her. Explain that your cock is hard for so long, how can she even think that? She keeps you hard for hours!
(2) Your other problem is that you should give your cum to her. Try saving it up. Yes, that's right. This is very importan, you must trust me. Don't cum when you're alone. Swear it off, stop cold turkey. You go a few days without cumming, you're going to be very very very horny when you're in her fucking her. You keep avoiding orgasm in private, you're gonna be busting a nut from fucking her sooner or later. You'll just get so desperate for orgasm, you won't be able to help it. Once that happens, you can go from there. I try to never masturbate when I'm living with a girl, so she gets what Dave Grohl would describe as "the best of me".
Almost half of all men either can't or don't usually come from blowjobs or handjobs, no matter how hard a woman tries. It's not because she's not good: it's because all your life you've been in control of your own orgasms (masturbation) so that's the only way you can cum.
When you're fucking her, and you're in control of the movement, you'll be able to cum. Or rub against her (dry humping), against her thigh or something... and you'll be able to cum for her.
But your orgasm shouldn't be for her, it would be a little selfish and mean if she was getting mad about this, although it's understandable that it makes her feel unattractive or bad in bed. But she's dead wrong.
You should show her my answer, because she sounds like she needs to seriously be kinder and more understanding: there's NOTHING abnormal about this and this has NO reflection on her, or you.
Show her how you masturbate. Then the next time, have her touch you while you do it. Little by little, work her into actually making you cum on her own. That might work.
Good luck, and don't forget to rate me as an expert. Also, if you have time, please say thankyou by going to my music website, www.foxelipsus.com , clicking on "music", and having a quick listen to my songs, for free. Then if you can, let me know what you think by e-mailing me privately at foxelipsus@yahoo.com, or by leaving a comment on my guestbook. No sex comments on the guestbook though (!) I keep the sex and music sort of separate.
