Expert: Jennifer - 8/6/2008

Question
My husband is 73 and I am 66, he has diabetes and we have tried all the "pills" for an erection out there.  He has the desire but it just won't get hard enough to even attempt intercourse.  I really miss intercourse and I am tired of oral sex on him and oral sex does nothing for me HELP...what can you suggest?  I feel like I am missing out, this has been for the last 5 yrs.  I need to feel good again.

Answer
What is most important is to find the type of sexual expression that suits you best.

Self-stimulation
Some people, either by choice or by necessity, find much gratification in sexual self-stimulation. There may be some resistance to this form of self-exploration by people who were raised with the idea that self-stimulation is “dirty” or perverted. But many who have overcome this resistance have been exhilarated by a whole new experience. On my website www.slumberpartiesbyjennifercrawford.com you will find many different items that may assist you in your search for pleasure. Some include:

"X-Scream" X-Scream will increase arousal and sensitivity. It adds a tingling sensation that you will both feel during oral stimulation or intercourse. X-Scream comes in three delicious flavors: Butter Cream Icing, Mandarin Orange or Mint Chocolate Chip. *Heightening cream *Tingling sensation*Helps men with erectile dysfunction *Helps women who have lost sensitivity  (found in our Spice it up section)

"Softy C-Rings" These soft, flexible cock rings will make him last longer by constricting blood flow. Each one has different nubs along the outside to tickle you and increase your pleasure. *Two silicone rings  *Soft nubs *Waterproof *Extremely stretchy to fit all men(found in our Bedroom Accessories section)

A great way to enjoy sexual pleasure is to have him use a vibrator on you. This still allows him to feel intimate with you in a since, and not so much that you are replacing him. On that note I would recomend the Slumber Bunny.

"Slumber Bunny" Experience ultimate pleasure with the amazing power, texture and beads of this vibe. The entire shaft is filled with pearls which rotate while the exterior nubs add to the effect. Plus, the bunny ears give the perfect clitoral stimulation for absolute enjoyment. This toy is covered by a Limited Lifetime Warranty.*Rotating, beaded shaft *LED adjustable push-button controls *Realistic head *Separate controls for rotation and vibration (Found in our Bedroom Accessories)Don't forget our Just like Me Lubrication and our Before and After Toy cleaner.

There are many changes that happen in our bodies as we age, and some of these changes can modify sexual experience in later years. Both women and men experience slower arousal responses. This can lead to anxiety in people who do not understand that this change is normal.
Men’s changing bodies

The entire male sexual response tends to slow down in the following ways:
There is a delay in erection.

There is a need for more manual stimulation to achieve an erection.

The “plateau” phase, or period between erection and ejaculation, is prolonged.

Orgasm is shorter and less forceful.

The penis loses its firmness rapidly after ejaculation.

The “refractory period”, or time interval before erection is able to be achieved again, can be quite long, even up to a week in very elderly men.

I hope this helps you and your husband. If you have any other questions please feel free to ask. Thanks ~Jen~