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Sex Toys/Follow-Up Questions about Dildos, etc.


Question
Hi again Domina, this is a follow-up to my questions that you answered on November 9, 2012. I hope this makes it easier for you to help me.

Your answers to my questions were incredibly helpful! I've waited until now to follow up because I waited for my gf to spend time with me and review the info together and look at some of the recommended products. I will have some more questions later, but I wanted to get the following ones to you now. My gf confirmed that she has absolutely no experience with any of these products.

1. In looking at the lengths of dildos, I noted a wide difference between the "insertable lengths"... even for products that have similar total lengths. It seems to me that "insertable length" is far more relevant to fit my gf than total length is. Do you agree? If so...

You suggested that most women will be satisfied with a length of 8 inches and that some, like my gf indicated yesterday, will want to experiment with a little more than that.

My question is this: Talking in terms of "insertable length" rather than total length, what "insertable length" do you believe is likely to satisfy most women very well? As you noted, we can choose products a little longer than your answer because they don't have to be fully inserted.

2. As to girth, my gf said that 2 inches in diameter makes sense for her. While she has no experience with these sex products, she is sexually experienced and seems to know her sexual physiology extremely well.

Before ordering, I wanted to run this by you since I've seen a number of customer reviews indicating that 2 inches is more than some women can really enjoy. Some reviews pointed out the big difference in circumference between diameters of 1.75 inches and 2 inches. Many of the reviews talking about dildos that are too thick note that the construction of the dildo or penis-extender is too hard and that this adds to the difficulty of accommodating a thick dildo.

Since I will follow your advice to buy silicon products, I have three questions relating to the above.

a) Does the silicon material make it significantly easier for a woman to enjoy a somewhat thicker size than otherwise? This assumes we use plenty of lubricant, go slowly, and be careful.

b) Even though my gf knows her body very well, she has never used a dildo or penis-extender. Based on your experience and knowledge, is a 2-inch diameter too much for a lot of women to start with? Even though our living in Central America makes it more attractive to order several items at once, it may make sense to order one with a silicon product with a 2-inch diameter and see how that fits before ordering anything else.

c) I've seen some customers post comments about how using dildos with large girth supposedly permanently stretched their gf or wife's vagina. I realize some of the stories from clients are exaggerated. In your opinion, is permanent stretching of the vagina very likely?

3. Harness: I liked your recommendation to try a penis extension type of dildo, as well as a solid one. The length of my penis has decreased from 7 inches to no more than 4.5 inches due to apparent Peyronie's Disease, which I've had for the past 10 years or so. Also, even though I'm experiencing more frequent orgasms with my gf than during the prior 10 or so years, my penis is never more than about 70% erect. And I cannot get a second erection after ejaculating.

Assuming I try a cock ring as you suggested (also something I've never used), I have these questions:

a) Will I likely be able to use a penis extension vigorously without it falling off?

b) Based on the info I've given you, are there a couple or so specific leather harnesses that you think would likely work better for me than others? I don't want to pay more than necessary, but more important to me is buying something that will most likely work well for me and my gf.

c) Do you have any specific recommendations of one or more (i) solid dildos and (ii) penis extension dildos that would likely work well for us with that harness? My gf believes a 9-inch dildo will work well... but that's without discussing the "insertable length", which I've asked you about above. If we start with only one dildo to test the girth size on my gf, we want to buy a straight dildo for deep penetration... since my penis can't come close to providing that.

d) Related to the previous part of this question, do you recommend we start with a solid dildo or a penis extension give our situation and desires?

Domina, I so much appreciated your thorough answers to my previous questions and look forward to your answers to these. Thanks so much for your help. We're ready to begin enjoying new experiences!

Answer
Hello Paul,

Good to hear back from you.
My answers >>

1. In looking at the lengths of dildos, I noted a wide difference between the "insertable lengths"... even for products that have similar total lengths. It seems to me that "insertable length" is far more relevant to fit my gf than total length is. Do you agree? If so...

>>Yes, totally! Insertable length is the length that will pleasure your partner. So that is the measurement to go by. If a dildo says 11 inches, but is only 8 inches insertable, then it is rather average.

You suggested that most women will be satisfied with a length of 8 inches and that some, like my gf indicated yesterday, will want to experiment with a little more than that.

My question is this: Talking in terms of "insertable length" rather than total length, what "insertable length" do you believe is likely to satisfy most women very well? As you noted, we can choose products a little longer than your answer because they don't have to be fully inserted.

>>I would go with "bigger is better" approach. Because you don't have to insert the whole length, it wouldn't hurt to have the dildo's insertable length a bit longer than you need. I would say 10 inches insertable is a very good size, even for women who like a bit bigger fit. I remember you saying your GF was petite as well, 9"-10" should be a good large size for her. However, there are women who do like bigger, like as big as 12" insertable. It is a very personal thing really.  So if you are worried that she won't like 9 inches, go a bit bigger.

2. As to girth, my gf said that 2 inches in diameter makes sense for her. While she has no experience with these sex products, she is sexually experienced and seems to know her sexual physiology extremely well.

Before ordering, I wanted to run this by you since I've seen a number of customer reviews indicating that 2 inches is more than some women can really enjoy. Some reviews pointed out the big difference in circumference between diameters of 1.75 inches and 2 inches. Many of the reviews talking about dildos that are too thick note that the construction of the dildo or penis-extender is too hard and that this adds to the difficulty of accommodating a thick dildo.

>>I don't think 2" is too big. I would say 1 1/2 - 2" is perfect.  Plus, you will be using lubricant, and also using a soft, pliable material like silicone. I have had 3" be almost too big, but the product I was using was steel, so very inflexible. So, with silicone, 2" girth should be fine.

Since I will follow your advice to buy silicon products, I have three questions relating to the above.

a) Does the silicon material make it significantly easier for a woman to enjoy a somewhat thicker size than otherwise? This assumes we use plenty of lubricant, go slowly, and be careful.

>> Yes silicone feels great.  It is super smooth, so with lubricant slides very easy, for even a bigger size. Plus it is flexible to will bend with her inner body shape (slightly) while being firm enough to feel good and rigid.

b) Even though my gf knows her body very well, she has never used a dildo or penis-extender. Based on your experience and knowledge, is a 2-inch diameter too much for a lot of women to start with? Even though our living in Central America makes it more attractive to order several items at once, it may make sense to order one with a silicon product with a 2-inch diameter and see how that fits before ordering anything else.

>> Yes, for sure. I don't think 2" is too big. Really, especially with silicone.  It will just feel very full.  Remember, the vagina can accommodate the head of a baby (way bigger than 2" girth). Plus, you will be going slow and going by her reaction, and also the more she turned on she is the more she can accommodate.

c) I've seen some customers post comments about how using dildos with large girth supposedly permanently stretched their gf or wife's vagina. I realize some of the stories from clients are exaggerated. In your opinion, is permanent stretching of the vagina very likely?

>> Absolutely not. Remember the baby again. If a dildo was as large around as a baby's head, it may temporarily stretch the vagina muscle.  But that muscle is very flexible and resilient. It would go back to shape within a day or two.  Also, women can do kegels to strengthen those muscles and make the vagina "smaller again" back into the shape it was before they had a baby.

3. Harness: I liked your recommendation to try a penis extension type of dildo, as well as a solid one. The length of my penis has decreased from 7 inches to no more than 4.5 inches due to apparent Peyronie's Disease, which I've had for the past 10 years or so. Also, even though I'm experiencing more frequent orgasms with my gf than during the prior 10 or so years, my penis is never more than about 70% erect. And I cannot get a second erection after ejaculating.

>> The extensions can go on a semi-erect or flaccid penis as well.  They work like a vacuum suction.  You press down on the hollow extension (after putting lube inside and on your penis), then enter the head of your penis.  As you release the squeeze on the extension, and press your penis inside, it creates a vacuum that helps put it on and keep it in place.

Assuming I try a cock ring as you suggested (also something I've never used), I have these questions:

a) Will I likely be able to use a penis extension vigorously without it falling off?

>> It depends on which one you choose. Some are made better than others. Some of them also have straps that help keep them in place as well. But, using the vacuum seal method of putting it on, it should be fine.  However, if you are worried, then get an extension that is compatible with a harness, and then you will know for sure it will not come off during vigorous penetration.

b) Based on the info I've given you, are there a couple or so specific leather harnesses that you think would likely work better for me than others? I don't want to pay more than necessary, but more important to me is buying something that will most likely work well for me and my gf.

>>  If you are not over 40" around the waist, then the Ultimate harness is suitable for what you need-
http://shop.popmycherryreview.com/Ultimate-Dildo-Harness/sku-SPL08V9?a=popmycher
It is sturdy and adjustable, plus the O-rings can be removed for larger sizes.
Here are 3 sizes of O-rings as well, if you are going for a larger girth dildo-
http://shop.popmycherryreview.com/Steel-O-Rings-3-Pack/sku-KL857?a=popmycherry

c) Do you have any specific recommendations of one or more (i) solid dildos and (ii) penis extension dildos that would likely work well for us with that harness? My gf believes a 9-inch dildo will work well... but that's without discussing the "insertable length", which I've asked you about above. If we start with only one dildo to test the girth size on my gf, we want to buy a straight dildo for deep penetration... since my penis can't come close to providing that.

>>Solid dildos either of these-
http://shop.popmycherryreview.com/Fetish-Fantasy-Elite-9-Dildo/sku-PD451823?a=po (9 inches)
http://shop.popmycherryreview.com/Fetish-Fantasy-Elite-10-Dildo/sku-PD452423?a=p (10 inches)
Since the base is very small the insertable length for these dildos are farily close to the actual length.

>>Hollow- http://shop.popmycherryreview.com/Fetish-Fantasy-Elite-9-Hollow-Strap-On/sku-PD4
This one comes with a harness, so you could try that harness first with this dildo instead of buying the leather one, and then invest in a leather one later... That is how most people do it, go to an advanced harness later... And the dildo is an insertable length of 9 inches, made of silicone.

d) Related to the previous part of this question, do you recommend we start with a solid dildo or a penis extension give our situation and desires?

>>You will most likely be using both with a harness, so no worrying about it not being sturdy. Given that, either one will be satisfying for your partner. So, it would come down to what would be more comfortable for you.  Remember you do have to wear it for a bit, so you do want maximum comfort. Somehow, I think a hollow dildo would be more comfortable, but I've never worn one personally, so can't speak to that. I think with a solid dildo it would be harder to find some place to comfortably put your own package? Although it could just hang below, but not sure how comfortable that would be if you were thrusting vigorously?  Having a place to secure your penis, seems to me would be more comfortable.

I hope this has helped you make a better purchasing decision. Again, if you have any more questions, I am happy to answer them for you.

Thanks!  

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Domina

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I am your Personal Pleasure Guide and I can answer questions about any sex toy on the market, including toys for women, men, transgender, bi, gay, lesbian or other. My specialties include women's sexuality, sexual pleasure and sex toys for women, including the G-spot, body safe lubricants, sex toy materials, including those to avoid. I also know a lot about men's sex toys include dolls, c-rings, prostate stimulators, anal toys, and masturbators. I have extensive knowledge about bondage and kink toys including proper and safe usage, as well as sex toys for couples and romance products to help spice up and enhance your relationship. In addition to sex toys, I am very knowledgeable about sexuality, the sexual response cycle, and sexual anatomy, so can advise you on the best toys for specific body parts and how to use them for maximum benefit. I have tested numerous sensation and stimulating creams as well, so can advise on these type of products, if they work, how to use them, and what products to avoid. If you are wondering about a product comparison, I can give you my honest opinion on many varieties of a similar toy type, including pros and cons of each. In addition to sex toy questions, I do have a lot of knowledge about human sexuality and relationships as well and have answered questions about open relationships, erectile dysfunction, and other issues. If I don't have the answer myself, I will find it for you, as well as other resources to check out. My G+ Profile is here- https://plus.google.com/u/0/116207828728706505588?rel=author

Experience

As as pleasure consultant, I have worked for 6 years in various sex toy shops, including brick and mortar shops where I advised customers on what types of toys they may like to purchase, as well as educating them on the toys and sexuality in general. For the past 5 years I have honestly reviewed over 1000 sex toy products, including creating a guide to body safe lubes (paraben and glycerin free), written articles on sex toy materials and some known toxins, sex toy safety, glass toys and their safety, Eco-friendly sex toys, sex toys for women, men and couples to share. I have an established sex toy review blog with over 5000 articles, reviews and sexual information posts, and have gained a reputation as a sex toy expert.

Organizations
Society for Human Sexuality, San Francisco Club Cal Exotics Xbiz Real Sex Toy Reviews

Publications
PopMyCherryReview.com, Sex Life Canada, BlogHer.com, the Sex Carnival, Whiplash!, SMUT, Divine Caroline, Carnal nation, Good Vibes magazine, Lover Magazine, Broken Pencil, AltSexTalk, Ezine Articles, Real Sex Toy Reviews, Boinkology, Examiner, Vibrator.com, and many more.

Education/Credentials
6 years working in the sex toy industry 5 years reviewing sex toys and writing articles on sexuality BFA and a BA Numerous workshops on sexuality and sex toys in general.

Awards and Honors
Governor General's Award for the highest GPA

Past/Present Clients
My main emphasis is writing sex educational review of sexuality products for the adult public via my blog and various other publications. I have also written articles and product descriptions for various sex toys shops including Sextoy.com, TabuToys, Pink Cherry, Babeland, Good Vibes, Vibrator.com, MyTickleSpot, as well as numerous specialty shops and manufacturers of quality sex toy products. Manufacturers include Lelo, We-Vibe, Cal Exotics, Pipedreams, Sportsheets, Ruby Glass, Happy Valley, Fun Factory, Vibratex, Liberator, Adam & Eve, Dr Laura Berman Intimate Basics, Big Teaze Toys, Tantus and more.

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